


Family

by crazysnape



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazysnape/pseuds/crazysnape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avoiding his new neighbor shouldn't be too hard, shouldn't it ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author: Psykogleek/crazysnape  
> Beta : GayforKurt thanks!  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but words  
> Spoilers: none  
> Rating :T but might go up
> 
>  
> 
> NA : that should be max a three shot hope you like it.

Part One

Noah Puckerman has a good life, at least now. When Quinn, his wife died three years ago, it felt as if his life had crashed around him. All their dreams died with her and he became the only parent of their two children. Beth was seven at that time and Jamison, Jamie, two. To say it was hard would be an understatement. He had always been the buddy kind of dad; he never had to say no to his princess or his prince (that was Quinn's job). He was just here for the good things: kisses, playing, joking around, holidays and pranks. So he had to learn and build a different relationship with them. It had been hard, but at the end it was worth it. They were better now.

They'd had to move since their previous house was too expensive for just his salary, and he couldn't spend that much time on commuting between home and work: too much to do and not enough time.

Beth was proudly walking on the side-walk. For the first time in her life, she was going home from school alone. Around her neck swung the key to the door, her key. As her daddy had shown her, she watched both sides before crossing the street then she headed for her building which was just in the corner. She was nearly home; it had been the longest and the shortest walk ever. She looked around her to be sure nobody was watching and typed '571B', as her daddy told her and the door opened. It was magic. Two stairs up and she was finally going to use her key. She didn't forget she was supposed to call her dad to reassure him.

It was good to be a big girl.

Unobtrusively, Noah followed his daughter. He watched her doing everything exactly like he showed her and had tears in his eyes. She was getting so big! Quinn would have been proud. Once he was sure she was home safely, he made a stock-up trip for groceries before going to Jamie's kindergarten.

From then, the after-school time followed a similar pattern: Beth went home, called her dad and one hour later (one hour and a half, max) her dad and her brother were home, too. Everything went smoothly – but one day, it changed.

At first, she didn't notice it. She walked on the side-walk and sang the Madonna song Mrs. Sylvester had forced them to learn just because she felt like it. She used the secret code like every day, but when she arrived in front of the door, she couldn't find her key.

Horrified, she looked in all her pockets, in her bag, but it was nowhere. Suddenly, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't phone her dad, since she had no phone; she really didn't know what to do. Her daddy was going to get worried! Slowly her breath began to get heavy and she felt her eyes filling with tears.

She realised she was having a panic attack. It had happened to her once before but then she had been with her dad. She tried to do the breathing thing he asked her to do that time, but it was hard. She had lots of thoughts in her head and she couldn't focus on any.

"Are you okay?"

The voice came from far away but she heard it. Even if she didn't recognise who was talking, she realised it was for her. She tried to open her eyes but it was difficult. She wanted to say she felt okay so the person would leave her alone; her dad always said she wasn't supposed to talk to strangers but she wasn't able to. Hands rested on her shoulders and lightly pushed her toward the floor where she sat. The hands gave her a paper bag and the voice encouraged her to blow in it. Slowly, she followed the voice's directive and soon her breathing was back to normal. The hand took the bag back and gave her a tissue.

"Do you feel better now?"

She finally looked at the person. From the voice and the soft hands she had thought it was a woman but she was wrong. The man she discovered kneeling next to her had big blue eyes, brown hair and a soft smile.

She nodded, still looking at him.

"Are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?"

Still unable to talk, she shook her head 'no'.

"Okay, but you must have a problem. Something clearly happened. Do you live near here?"

Beth nodded once again and pointed to the door.

"Ah, well, it seems like we are neighbours. I'm Kurt Hummel and I just moved in there," and he pointed to the door in front of hers. "Is there someone home? Your mum or dad?"

Beth finally managed to talk, or rather murmured, "Daddy isn't back yet."

"Well, I think, I understand what your problem is. You don't have your key, right?"

Without stopping to gaze at him, she quietly answered, "Yes, I think I lost it."

Mr. Hummel looked at her, understanding. "I know how you feel. It happened to me once; scary, isn't it? Do you know if someone in the building has another one? Is your dad's work far?"

Without blinking, she shrugged.

"You know, you're not helping me much here. You can wait with me, okay? It might be a little odd because, as I said, I just moved in so the apartment is full of boxes and bags and the TV isn't even connected yet."

"Daddy said I can't go into strangers' homes and he will get worried because I always call him when I arrive home."

Mr. Hummel's eyes were suddenly bright. "Now that's a good idea! I can lend you my phone. You know his number, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, I'll be back," and he left her on the floor, but soon returned with his mobile in hand. "There, can you do it alone or do you need some help? Good, there it is, princess, make your call."

"Hello?"

"Daddy?" She hated that her voice was shaken up; she was a big girl!

"Beth! Are you okay, sweetpea? Where are you? Is everything okay? And whose phone is that?"

Hearing the torrent of questions made her laugh. "I am okay, dad. I'm home but I lost my key so I can't get in."

"Oh, sweetpea, everything is gonna be alright. I'm coming as soon as possible. I'm leaving work right now. Stay where you are... I'm coming... Where did you find that phone?"

"The neighbour let me use it."

"Mrs. Zizes? That's nice of her."

"No, it's a new one. He said I can wait in his apartment if I wanted, but I told him I can't because I am not supposed to talk or go with people I don't know."

"You are absolutely right, Bethie. Can you give him the phone, please?"

"Okay. Love you, dad."

When the little girl came to him saying her dad wanted to talk to him, he wasn't really surprised.

"Hello, Kurt Hummel speaking..."

"Hummel?" The voice would have been nice if it wasn't full of something he couldn't name. There was a bit of surprise, some disbelief and regret or remorse, he wasn't sure.

"Yes… and you are?" He couldn't stand people who didn't take the time to introduce themselves.

"Noah Puckerman… I am Beth's dad. Thank you for helping my daughter. She said you offered to let her wait at yours; I just wanted to be sure it wasn't a problem."

"She is welcome. I am sure it would be better than staying in the hallway, but it is up to you. So, okay, I'll put you back on to Beth because I am not sure she would believe it if I were the one to tell her."

He handed the phone to Beth before heading into his new apartment, leaving the door open.

The little girl's dad had had a strange reaction when he said his name. However, the name Noah Puckerman didn't ring any bells so he turned his thoughts back to Beth. She might be a little bit hungry and if he remembered well, children of her age ate a lot. Did he have some child-friendly food or just grown-up food? He went towards the kitchen and the kid joined him. She put the phone on the counter and looked at him with her huge brown eyes.

"Are you hungry? I'm pretty sure Finn_ that's my brother_ left some cookies somewhere."

Keeping silent, Beth nodded. He got the feeling the little lady was still very stressed. He remembered being her age and stressing like mad when he had to go with his dad to an unknown place. He always felt better alone or just with his dad. It had to be worse for her: she was alone. To help her to relax, he smiled and began his search. He was right, the cookies were there, but it was one of the strange ones Rachel tried once a while back (which probably explained why Finn hadn't finished them off).

"Sorry, Rachel bought something with peanuts, carrots and ginger and I don't know what it tastes like. Want to give them a try?"

The little girl looked at him, the cookies and him again before shrugging her shoulders.

"You know what? I'll share one with you. Who knows? It might become my new favourite biscuit."

They took a bite, looked at each other, winced, forced themselves to swallow and then Beth said, "…or not."

Kurt laughed out loud and agreed, "…or not... Well, I might have an apple?"

Beth smiled freely for the first time before agreeing, "That would be good."

He searched a few minutes and found it in the fridge. Probably Finn's logic.

"I hope you don't mind the peel, because I have absolutely no idea where knives are."

Beth smiled even more freely and quickly ate the fruit.

"Do you have homework? I am sure I can find you some place..."

"No, Mrs. Sylvester didn't have the time to give us any."

"In this instance, are you good with Lego?" As Beth nodded, he smiled and added, "because I'm not and I have some Lego for adults to work on."

Beth frowned and asked, "Lego for adults?"

"Yep, I am trying to build my new Ikea bed and, well... let's just say I am not very good at it."

Beth laughed and it was the most marvellous sound he heard all day.

"Okay, I helped Daddy with my and Jamie's bed."

"Great, I might not have to sleep on the floor tonight!"

She really did help him well, and very soon his bed actually looked like a bed. As soon as she was occupied, she started talking. He always thought he was awkward with children but he wasn't, at least not with her. She was sweet, funny and kind of bossy but it was fine because he was truly lost with the directions.

Before they knew it, someone was knocking at the door and Beth jumped up, smiling.

"That's daddy!"

The little girl was so happy that Kurt couldn't help but laugh while getting up.

"Certainly."

Then they both headed to the door. When Kurt opened it, he discovered three things:

First Noah Puckerman was a beautiful man, with very nice arms.

Secondly, if Beth had lovely blonde hair, they didn't come from her dad because "daddy" and Jamie were brown-haired. The little boy was like a mini-Noah Puckerman, which was cute.

And to finish his eyes were soon going to bleed because flannel! Too much flannel!

Not wanting to be rude, he smiled and offered his hand to the younger Puckerman first.

"Hello there, I am Kurt Hummel."

The little boy hid behind his father's legs before reaching for his hand.

"Hi, I am Jamie."

"Nice to meet you, Jamie." Then Kurt turned to the man and did the same, but when their hands touched, he got an electric jolt, literally.

"Sorry, it has been happening all day."

"Oh... that's okay."

He really should have invited them to come in, but the place really wasn't presentable at the moment. And for once, he didn't know what to say so he just grinned. As if he understood Kurt was in a quandary, his neighbour turned to his daughter and motioned her to go.

"Come on, sweetie, get your bag. I am sure Mr. Hummel's got a lot of things to do and we shouldn't disturb him any longer."

Much to the adults' astonishment, Beth asked, "Can I stay a bit longer? We've nearly finished the bed and..." She looked at Kurt mischievously "… if I am not here to help him, I am not sure Mr. Kurt will sleep in his bed tonight!"

Kurt felt his cheeks turn red and when he looked at Beth she had a big smile on her face, clearly proud of her crack.

"Beth!" Her dad began to correct her, but Kurt stopped him. "Don't, she is right, she is the boss of Ikea. She understands their directions way better than me."

"So, can I dad? I don't have any homework, pleeease?"

And that was how Beth Puckerman kept him company for his first evening in his new home.

Noah couldn't believe it. He'd rushed to come home, worried sick about his daughter and she preferred to stay at Kurt Hummel's home.

Kurt Hummel.

What was the likelihood, among all the people living in New York that Kurt Hummel was his neighbour? He reminded him of Lima. They were three or four years apart so their paths hadn't crossed very often. They didn't have any classes, nor friends or activities in common. They just saw each other when Kurt came to the garage, usually around the time he himself was leaving.

When Quinn found out she was pregnant they were seventeen. He went looking for a job and Burt Hummel had been the only one willing to give him a chance.

Despite his young age he'd had a bad reputation and nobody wanted to let him prove he wasn't as useless as they thought. He was the bad guy who bullied kids at school; the son of Elijah Puckerman, an alcoholic and violent man who ended up in jail after beating his family and killing a man in a bar fight. In everybody's eyes, Noah too was just bad news, and Beth's arrival proved them right; he was never going to be more than a Lima Loser.

But Burt Hummel had been different. He knew what it was to be a young parent_ and contrary to them, he had been alone since his wife died in childbirth. He'd helped them a lot; he was his only good memory of Lima.

He didn't like thinking about his life in Ohio, Puck from Lima wasn't there anymore. He was Noah Puckerman from New York City and that was a good thing. The only way to keep things as they were was to avoid his new neighbour as much as possible. It shouldn't be so hard; he had already done it with the woman who lived in the building. Miss Brittany S. Pierce. She was crazy, not dangerous but crazy, nevertheless.

Okay. He might have to speak too soon. Beth came back, nearly one hour after them, completely bewitched by their new neighbour. She talked about him all meal long. He got the feeling that she spent two hours with him but talked about it for like two days. The worst part was seeing his son, who didn't even know the guy and wasn't usually interested in things that didn't involve him, so focused on her words that he forgot to eat his mac and cheese. His mac and cheese!

If he was lucky, they wouldn't see Kurt Hummel for a few weeks and everything would be back to normal.

Except_ it didn't happen that way. They saw him while leaving for the park. Beth was meeting her best friend Eliza and it was always good for Jamie to burn some energy outside. Kurt was struggling with tons of shopping-bags when they came back. Needless to say, both kids asked to help him and Noah had to ask, too: he didn't want to appear as the impolite freak who fathered two nice kids.

In his kids' eyes of course, because he couldn't care less about what Kurt Hummel thought about him.

He hoped to leave the bags at the door and go home, but evidently he was wrong. Hummel left the door open and Beth followed (as if she had known him all her life), Jamie imitated his sister and willy-nilly, Noah did the same.

The guy hadn't finished unpacking but from the piles of boxes in the corner, he must have worked hard. Noah noticed a picture of Burt and smiled; the man hadn't changed much. He was more surprised to see a marriage photo with Burt, Kurt, Carole and Finn Hudson (who had been his best friend at the time).

Well, well, well, it seemed like things changed for the better in the life of the man he once saw as a mentor. A strange and fleeting idea crossed his mind: if Burt managed it, he might be able to do it, too. But one second later, he couldn't believe he even thought it. Quinn has been, and would remain the only woman in his life. She was irreplaceable.

Kurt had never been as happy to see someone as when he met the Puckerman family at the door. He didn't realise how much he'd bought at the shop and had been struggling with his bags ever since.

There was something strange with the father. The kids were so cute, so nice, so adorable that he didn't understand how kids could have scared him at some point. But there was definitely something weird about their father. He wasn't sure what it was. It might be because he was mostly silent, or the way he watched everything with such intensity. It was as if he was taking notes or something. Whatever it was, it sure was disturbing.

Despite his embarrassment, he acted as if all this was normal. Beth was telling him what she did with someone named Eliza, while Jamie (who clearly wasn't as shy as it appeared) was climbing on a chair explaining how he loved swings but preferred playing football with his daddy.

Kurt tried to give them even attention while he put his groceries away. If the eyes of the man behind him were loving instead of whatever they were, the scene would have been nicely domestic. Maybe one day... Of course, not with this man nor these children, but yes, one day.

Once he finished organising his kitchen, he offered everybody a lollipop and was soon sitting at the table with the kids, enjoying his candy. Noah Puckerman refused a lollipop, a drink or to sit and Kurt felt bad. He didn't understand what he was doing here. He could have easily gone home, it wasn't far, and he, Kurt hadn't asked him to come _ neither to help him nor to follow him inside his home.

He was far from talkative, and usually enjoyed silence. He always had been a huge believer of the "if you have nothing interesting to say, best was to shut up" policy but it didn't apply here. The silence was only half peaceful. He was actively searching for something to say in order to break the ice when he suddenly had an idea.

"So Beth, do you have a new key?" Before the little girl had the time to answer, a loud "Durmstrang" rang out behind him. Kurt's eyes turned in Noah Puckerman's direction.

"Durmstrang," he asked, curious.

"Yep, it's more polite."

"Okay, so do you have a problem?"

Sheepish, Noah looked at the clock and sighed. "Yes, we were supposed to pass by the shop on the way back, but we forgot and now, it's too late."

And the man came into the room for the first time, and squatted in front of Beth.

"Oh, sweetpea, don't cry, everything is okay. I will just come back earlier than usual and wait for you."

Noah couldn't believe he'd forgot about the key. They'd talked about it and decided to go after the park. The problem had been that_ as always_ the park had been a better experience for the kids than for him.

The only good part was when he played football with Jamie; but like most five-year-old kids, his ability to stay focused wasn't very good. So when his attention began to slip, thirty-five minutes later, he had to sit on a bench and that was when his afternoon took a turn for the worse.

It only took a few minutes, and it was always the same. All women around seemed to know he was a widow and tried to hit on him. There was a time he would have been pleased but now it was just annoying. Some understood he wasn't ready but others, like Shelby Corcoran, Rachel's mother, just didn't. She always found ways to see him (at least once a week) and to touch him (mostly his arms or shoulders). And that day had been the worst; he'd had to endure Mrs. Corcoran AND Sugar Motta. Let's say his afternoon had been long, and when they finally left, all he wanted was to go home. That was why he forgot the key but he couldn't explain this to his daughter.

"But Daddy, you said you were going to be late this Monday, because you have that meeting with_ I don't remember his name."

Noah closed his eyes. She was right. He had a meeting with Mr. Figgins, the principal of one of the biggest colleges in New York. If everything went well, he might end up with his most important client and finally get his promotion … but it wouldn't happen if he postponed the meeting. He quickly went over his possibilities. Maybe could he ask Eliza's mum? It had been a long time since their last play-date. He was about to suggest it when Kurt Hummel opened his big mouth.

"I only have school until two, and after that I work from home. She can come here if she wants."

Noah looked at the man and was about to open his mouth to refuse but Beth talked before he even made a sound.

"Can I daddy?"

He knew he should neither look at her (because she most certainly had her puppy's eyes) nor give Kurt Hummel a space in their life but he did both. And when he saw the huge smile on her face he couldn't regret it.

Since that instant, and despite Noah's best effort, Kurt Hummel made his way into their life.

He had Beth's keys made but his little girl, who was so proud two months ago to come back and stay home alone, asked if she could still go to Mr Kurt's.

At first, he was reluctant. Insisting that she shouldn't intrude in their neighbour's home, emphasising that she really shouldn't annoy him when he was working; but of course she had an answer to all of that. She assured him that Kurt (because now he was just Kurt, not Mr. Kurt!) had agreed if Noah agreed.

She pushed it by saying she helped him by giving her opinion on his designs because, as she said, Kurt had the coolest job ever, since he created wonderful clothes. How could he compare with him, when his was one of the least glamorous jobs ever: accountant.

Despite everything, he stood his ground, ready to refuse but he saw his daughter's face, so hopeful, so happy and he just... couldn't. He didn't remember the last time she was so excited about anything. Then he nodded and told her he was going to talk to Mr Hummel.

And he did.

The discussion was awkward but Kurt (because that was apparently how he called him now) confirmed Beth's words. They exchanged their phone numbers, in case there was a problem, and since Kurt wouldn't accept any money for the babysitting, Noah invited him to dinner.

That night, when he went to bed he still didn't understand what pushed him to invite Kurt Hummel: because even if he seemed to fit, he didn't want him in their life.

Kurt didn't understand what had happened to him. Why did he offer to look after his neighbour's daughter after school when it was more than obvious the guy didn't want him to?

Well, that wasn't absolutely true. He knew why; it was for Beth. She was just the sweetest doll. She was adorable while doing her homework, sticking out her tongue, asking tons of questions about his drawing or the dress he was working on, making great suggestions.

The last part was such a good change since he was used to Rachel or Finn and they both had the worst taste ever. Even the flannel shirts of his dad or his neighbour were not that bad.

But despite all of that, the biggest question was: Why did he accept the most surprising invitation of his life and why was he just as impatient as worried when he knocked at the door?

It was the first time he'd come into the Puckermans' home and he had to say it was nothing like he'd imagined. Since Beth told him her mother died when she was seven and they had to move out, he thought their décor would look like Noah Puckerman but he was wrong.

Either the man was more sensitive than he perceived or this interior was more of his late wife's taste. It was a strange feeling to go into somebody's home and feel like you were in somebody else's place. The walls and the furniture were pastel, the curtains in lace and lots of porcelain stuff. There were some vases, ornaments and his worst nightmare: two shelves full of porcelain dolls.

He hated porcelain dolls. It reminded him of one of the things he hated in high school. The Cheerios' coach used to call him that. She mostly yelled it in the hallway, the school yard even during the lessons; she did it anytime she felt like it.

It was Porcelain, Porcelain,Porcelain,Porcelain! Nowadays, the simple fact of thinking about it gave him shivers.

"Are you cold?" Jamie's voice brought him back to the present and he smiled.

"No, I am good."

The first time Kurt ate with them left him with some ambivalent feelings.

First, because sitting at their kitchen table, the guy seemed so at home that it was troubling but also because every time he was talking about his family, Noah felt bad. Kurt had no clue but he knew all the people he was talking about.

It was complicated.

He knew that he should tell him, but he really didn't want to. He wanted to stay Noah Puckerman, father of two wonderful children, accountant and inhabitant of New York City; he didn't want people to know who he was before. He didn't want Kurt to know, because if he talked about him to Finn, his ex-best-friend wouldn't talk about their camping trips, or how they used to play football together.

No, he would say, he was Puck, the guy who seduced his girlfriend and knocked her up and he didn't want that. He wanted the past to stay where it was: in the past.

Kurt kept on going to the Puckermans' every Friday night. If for most, Friday was date night, for him it always had been family night and it was nice for the day to get its meaning back (which wasn't the case since he arrived in New York).

Despite the good memories of the previous Fridays, the fourth he spent with his neighbours left him with some ambivalent feelings. During these nights, the atmosphere was both light and heavy; it was _ for lack of a better word _ strange. It was during one of his phone talks with his dad that he understood why, even if he still didn't know how to change it.

Noah Puckerman had lived in Lima and worked for his dad. And now that he thought about it, Kurt could remember him. He was the beautiful and broody guy on whom he used to have a crush in middle school. He was, with Callan Mulvey, the one who helped him to realise he liked boys better than girls. Not that he would ever share this information with him, like ever.

What he really would like was for Noah to stop getting tense every time he mentioned his family. For more than a week, he wondered how to tell him that he knew. When it happened, it was nothing like he imagined.

They were both sitting on the couch, watching an episode of CSI when he opened his mouth to criticise the more than obvious plot; except that wasn't what he said.

"Dad said 'hi' and asked for your phone number; he wanted to talk to you."

Once he realised his words, he turned his head towards Noah and looked at his face. He was paler than usual and seemed to be embarrassed, so Kurt smiled sheepishly, and asked "Sorry, should I have been less straight?"

Two seconds later, hearing himself, he burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he was a bit weepy; seeing Noah's expression didn't help him to get calm but, at least, he managed to say, "Less straight, me? Not possible." So the other man understood what was happening.

It worked, since soon they were both laughing. When their hilarity toned down, it was follow by the worst silence ever. It mustn't have been that long, but it felt like years passed before Kurt had the guts to ask, "Why didn't you tell me you were from Lima, too? That you knew and worked for my dad... Did he do something to you?"

When he finished, his words were just a murmur. At first, he thought he wouldn't get an answer. He wriggled on the couch, wondering if he should have left, when Noah finally spoke.

"You and I didn't know each other at the time. Our paths crossed when we were at the garage but that was it. I wouldn't have ever recognised you on the street_ and you neither."

Noah couldn't stand the conversation. That was exactly what he'd tried to avoid. He didn't want to see the disappointment in Kurt's eyes, a person who'd quickly become a friend, a person his children loved a lot.

But it was impossible to change the past. His past was as it was and he would have to face the music or – like it was said – he'd made his bed, now he had to lie in it.

"No, it wasn't because of your dad. Burt is one of the few good memories I have from Lima."

Kurt looked surprised. "Don't you have family there?"

"No, not any more... When Quinn and I decided to keep Beth, our families basically told us that if we wanted to waste our life it was without them. We managed. It was hard; but we did it. I left school, found a job and took care of Beth while Quinn graduated. When she received a full scholarship for Yale, we left and never looked behind us. In Lima, people never expected much of us. Contrary to what they thought, we were worth more than that but I don't like thinking about it."

He silently watched Kurt from the corner of his eyes, hoping without really believing it that it would be enough; that he wouldn't have to give more explanations. However, when he saw him screwing up his eyes and tilting his head to the side, he knew he wouldn't be that lucky.

"It wasn't because of my dad. So why? You could have told part of it, without going into details. There is something else, isn't there?"

"You're smart, aren't you?"

Kurt looked at him, his eyebrow raised.

"Don't try to stall for time, just answer me! Now I am very curious!"

Noah smiled, looking at Kurt's big glasz eyes staring at him with impatience, benevolent but none of that unhealthy curiosity he'd dreaded. That was when he began to think that maybe nothing was going to change between them.

"It's because of your brother."

"Finn? Well, that's a surprise. Why?"

"Do you know we were friends, like best friends?"

There was a break, followed by an exclamation.

"Wait... are you... are you Puck?"

Damn, he knew and now he was going to leave.

"Yeah."

"So, yes, I knew it. He told me lots of thing you did together. I hope you stopped with the pee balloons because that was really gross..."

Kurt's reaction wasn't as he'd imagined it would be. Why was he still smiling? He should hate him, like Finn did the last time they'd seen each other!

"Did he tell you why... what put an end on to our friendship?" How strange it was. He wanted the answer to that question but at the same time he really didn't want it.

"Yes, he said it was because of a girl... maybe I shouldn't tell you but he regrets it. I know he would love to see you again."

"It wasn't just because of a girl! I slept with his girlfriend before he got the chance and she ended up pregnant!"

"Okay... it's a bit more complicated than he said to me, but I stick to my word, he regrets what happened."

"I don't. Well, that's not the whole truth. I regret hurting him, but I don't regret either sleeping with Quinn, or having Beth. They are, with Jamie, the best part of my life. I could never ask for things to be different."

There was a minute of silence before Kurt murmured, "I didn't realise... I didn't realise the girl was Quinn. I didn't... Does he know she is..?"

"Dead? I don't think so. I didn't tell anyone from Lima."

"Not even her family?"

He didn't look at him but Noah could picture Kurt's face, pale, his eyes wide and he wanted to smile but he restrained himself.

"No one, they didn't deserve to know. They weren't here for her when she was alive. Why should they be in her death? Those who care know and the others can go fuck themselves."

This time Noah turned to look at Kurt's reaction. He knew it was his turn to be too straight but he didn't want and wouldn't change his words. He'd said his piece. Head down, Kurt was nibbling his lower lip and when he finally spoke, his voice was hesitant.

"Can I tell them?"

He didn't even think before nearly yelling his answer. "NO!"

"But dad, and Finn... they are going to be coming here quite often, your paths are going to cross whether you want it or not. Beth already saw Finn three times this month. I am even surprised he didn't realise it. She looks so much like her mum."

Noah understood what he was saying; he knew he was right, although he didn't like it. So he closed his eyes for a second and nodded before adding. "But only if it comes up in the conversation… and tell them to keep it to themselves. I really don't want the Fabrays to know."

Kurt smiled and nodded his head, like a child. Noah smiled back and couldn't help but think Kurt looked cute that way. And just like that, the heaviness was gone and things got easier.

tbc


	2. part 2

Part Two

Noah was taking the stairs to go home and feeling lonely. He was rarely truly alone; he always had his children, Kurt, friends or his colleagues around him. But today, a late meeting he couldn't move prevented him from picking up Jamie at school and his boy was taking part in the “Kurt and Beth after-school time”.

If Jamie had been ecstatic at the idea, it wasn't Noah's case.

It wasn't a problem of confidence; he knew the other man took great care of his kids. He just liked going to school and having some father and son time with his boy. It was a thing he’d longed for as a kid but never had. He was wondering what to prepare for dinner when time stopped.

Here, less than two feet from him was Finn Hudson.

 

~*~*~*~

For Jamie's first after-school time with them, Kurt decided to go to his favourite tea room and two hot chocolates, one tea and three chocolate muffins later, they headed to the park.

Jamie enjoyed the playground with some bossy little girl while Kurt helped Beth with her maths. Once it was finished, he stayed on the bench and let her have some fun.

He kept an eye on them and smiled. They seemed to have so much fun.

If he wasn't so concerned about his appearance he would have joined them on the swing. He’d loved it as a child. He suddenly felt a presence near him. A woman with long black hair just sat beside him.

He smiled and went back looking at the kids.

“You are new here, aren't you?”

It took him a few seconds to realise she was talking to him.

“Yes, it’s my first time. How do you know that?”

“I am here nearly every day and I’ve never seen you...” and from the way you look, I would have remembered.

Well, she didn't say that last part, but he heard it in her intonation and saw it in her eyes.

There were a few seconds of a bewildered silence, but since she didn't add anything else, he held out his hand and said, “Kurt Hummel.”

The woman reluctantly shook it. She clearly had a problem with him but on his life, he couldn't understand why. She forced a smile and said, “I am Rachel's mum.”

Okay, so he didn't deserve her real name; trying to be polite he kindly asked, “Which one is Rachel?”

Jamie often talked about Rachel, who seemed to be quite a motor-mouth, a Miss Know-it-all, really bossy, which was kind of funny since she was so much like Kurt’s sister-in-law; must be a Rachel thing.

He noticed there was a problem when she didn't point at her daughter.

Usually, talking about their child to parents is a safe question: Parents love bragging about their kids.

His dad and Carole did it all the time, so did Noah; but not this weird woman. She just sat near him on that bench, silent, looking at him and kind of freaking him out.

Still keeping an eye on Beth and Jamie, he glanced at her.

She screwed up her eyes, her mouth was tight and she squeezed her phone in her right hand. Her behaviour was so strange, it left him bewildered. Then, he realised she was afraid. He quickly looked around but didn't notice anything deserving that fear. He was about to ask her if she had a problem when he understood: she was afraid of him.

That had to be a first.

No one had ever been afraid of him. He checked if the kids were good and when he looked in her direction he turned pale. She thought he was one of those sick men, a pervert checking out kids in parks.

He felt his cheeks heating from shame. He felt the urge to yell she was mistaken, but his shame was so huge that he couldn't find his words. Instead, he looked at his watch and exclaimed, “Look at the time! Beth! Jamie! Let's go!”

He noticed from the corner of his eyes a change in his neighbour's attitude. Beth didn't take long and was soon putting her bag on her shoulder. Jamie took longer.

“Kurt, can't we stay a tiny little bit longer, please?” The little boy asked his question with his most charming smile, one which must gain him lots of things, but Kurt shook his head.

“Nice try, buddy, but no. We've got things to do before your dad's return.”

“You know Noah?”

Kurt turned in 'Rachel's mum’ direction_ he had almost forgotten she was there. He was happy to finally have a way to tell her he did have a legit reason to be here, but Jamie answered before he could.

“Yep, that's daddy's friend.”

She seemed to relax when she understood he wasn't a threat to any children, but it only lasted two seconds and then her eyes got wild and she mumbled, “His... his friend?”

Her reaction was once more strange, but at this point he didn't give a damn. He met strange people before but she hit the strange scale higher than anyone he’d ever met before, so he only confirmed Jamie's words before leaving.

They were nearly at home when he realised what she was suggesting. He refrained from slapping himself so the kids wouldn’t ask any questions, but he knew he would have to talk to Noah about this.

Durmstrang!

 

~*~*~*~

Noah was late and from the text he just received, he was going to be back even later. He got the kids to help him with dinner, take their showers and put their pyjamas on and Noah still wasn't back.

There was something strange; Kurt had been sure he would be back as soon as the meeting was over since it was Jamie's first afternoon with them. He was beginning to wonder if Noah was having some trouble when Beth asked him a question.

“Kurt, does dad have a date?”

“Yes, sweetie, with that Mr. Figgins or something.”

“No, not that kind of date, a... you know, a romantic date?”

Kurt froze a second before answering.

“I don't know, I don't think so... Well, at least not one that I know about.”

He hadn't considered it before. Was Noah on a romantic date? Was it why he was so late? Why did it disturb him so much? Stop thinking about it, he chided himself. He shook his head and clapped his hands.

“Okay, kids, let's eat!”

“But what about daddy? What about the surprise?”

Kurt took a few seconds to think about it and looked at the time.

“Well, you know your dad doesn't like it when you go to bed too late. So we are going to eat and if he isn't here on time for dessert, I will hide it in my fridge and we'll eat it tomorrow.”

Their expressions clearly showed they didn't like his solution, but they didn't have any other to offer.

The meal was quiet and longer than usual, but Kurt couldn't pluck up the courage to tell them something.

As far as he knew, they had never been away from their dad for so long at night time. Fortunately, they were about to choose their desserts (regretting it not being the apple pie) when the door opened…

…and Noah appeared.

He smiled when Jamie and Beth jumped from their chairs, ran to “Daddy!” and kissed him. It was always such a beautiful sight to see them together. Kurt casually looked at the man, wondering if Beth was right.

Had Noah been on a 'romantic date'? He didn't get why this idea left him with bitter-sweet feelings. Noah was his friend and nothing more. 'Rachel's mum’ must have given him strange ideas.

“Hi, Kurt. Sorry to be back so late.”

Kurt barely had time to wave his hand before Jamie pushed his dad onto a chair, impatient, while Beth filled a plate for him and asked, “Were you on a 'romantic date' dad?”

 

~*~*~*~

“A romantic date?” Where had that come from?

“Yes, with a lady. Eliza's brother is always late for meals when he is on a date.”

Okay, now Noah understood.

“No, sweetie, I didn't have a 'romantic date'.” His eyes met Kurt's and he added, “I met an old friend.”

Kurt's expression clearly showed he knew who that friend was.

“What friend, dad?” His attention turned back to his daughter and he smiled. “Actually, you know him. It's Finn.”

“Finn? I don't know any Finn.”

“Not you, Jamie, but Beth does.”

“Kurt's brother?” From her tone, it looked like she had some questions, but before she could ask them Jamie did.

“How old is he?” He faced his son, wondering why his children had strange questions tonight.

“The same as me.”

“But… you are not old, daddy!”

He really didn't see where all this was going. He looked at Kurt, searching for help, but the other man was biting his lips to stop from laughing.

Kurt knew, but was in no state to help Noah.

“Thanks, kiddo! Why did you ask about Finn's age?”

“Well, you said he was your old friend, I just wondered how old he was.”

Oh... he finally understood. He forgot his son could take words literally sometimes; it was cute.

Biting his lips like Kurt, he tried to find a way to explain without laughing and was saved by his daughter.

“Doesn't mean his friend is old, idiot; it means they know each other for a long time!”

“I’m not an idiot! Dad, tell her I’m not an idiot!”

Noah barely had time to scold Beth before his eyes crossed Kurt's and both of them burst out laughing.

It was strangely nice to be two for goodnight-time.

When they began to have dinner together – mostly on Fridays at that time – Kurt left just after dinner and before brushing-teeth time, but one night Jamie asked him to stay. Since then, every time Kurt ate with them, he and Noah both went to the children's room, both stayed for story time (taking turns to read it), both kissed them goodnight and both cleaned the kitchen before having some adult time. It could just be talking or watching TV or listening to music.

Noah had never had this, neither as a kid since his father left them fairly quickly after his sister’s birth (then it was mostly the two of them while their mum worked); nor with Quinn because if he wasn't working, she had night-class and on the rare occasion they were both at home, one was doing housework or homework.

She died before she graduated from UNI, stupid car!

So here he was, enjoying family time for the first time in his life with his neighbour – no, his friend; rather, the best friend he’d had in a long time and it was good, awfully pleasant.

He knew that tonight they wouldn't watch TV. Kurt must have tons of questions about his reconciliation with Finn and he was pretty sure an “I told you so” was coming.

He could already see his bright eyes looking at him, his satisfied smile. Except that he was wrong, Kurt wasn't smiling on the couch; he was biting his lips nervously and wriggling.

“Are you okay?” At the question, Kurt literally jumped on the couch.

“Don't answer because you clearly aren't. So what's wrong? Have the kids done something?”

Kurt shook his head and was getting anxious. Could he have a big problem? Noah was so focused on all that could have been wrong that he didn't notice Kurt moving.

When he turned his attention back on him, Kurt was sitting cross-legged at the other end of the sofa.

“So?”

“Something happened at the park. I was sitting on a bench looking at the kids playing and a woman joined me.”

Thinking he knew where it was going, Noah smiled and asked teasingly, “She made a move on you, didn’t she? Oh, little Kurtie’s got an admirer...”

“No, but she asked questions like if it was the first time I came, etc...” Noah's smile grew bigger, she was flirting but Kurt didn't realise it.

Kurt noticed the teasing smile and became sullen.

“Stop it! She really wasn't making a move on me. That would have been less shameful and annoying and...”

“Okay, not flirting; keep going.”

“Then I noticed she was afraid... afraid of ME! She thought I was a pervert, maybe even a paedophile. I don't know!”

“That you were a what?” He must have heard wrong.

“Please, don't make me say it again. It was horrible enough the first time!”

Noah looked at the man beside him, and couldn't believe it. Kurt was one of the kindest, nicest persons he’d ever met. How could someone think that he was... that? Paedophiles aren't always bad people on the outside but thinking that Kurt... that was just unbelievable.

“What did you do?”

“I was so horrified, so ashamed that I just wanted one thing: going far away, so I called the kids.”

“That woman is crazy, stop thinking about it!”

“I am not finished. When the children came, she realised her mistake and asked if I knew you.”

“Stupid question. Of course I know you or my kids wouldn't be with you!”

“Well, maybe she still thought I was a perv who kidnapped your kids? I don't know! Anyway your son answered something like 'Yes, he is daddy's friend'.”

When Kurt stopped, Noah wondered what the problem was. They were friends, at least he thought so.

“Well, that's true, isn’t it?”

Why was his heart beating so fast while waiting for the answer? What if for Kurt they were only neighbours?

“Of course, it's true, but that's not the problem. She didn't... oh god... how can I say it?”

“She didn't… what?”

Kurt nibbled at his lips for a while, before he murmured, “She didn't take it that... way. She thought I was your boyfriend, not just your friend. I’m sorry; when I realised what she meant, we were already home so I couldn't contradict her.”  
.  
..  
…

That was the most surprising revelation of the day.

Even stranger than discovering one of Finn’s lesbian neighbor was the crazy Britney S Pierce who was his neighbour before Kurt. So now, a woman at the park thought he was gay. Since she knew him by his name he didn't have a lot of possibilities.

“Shelby or Sugar?”

“What?” Kurt was so cute with his red cheeks and his lips swollen and pinker from the biting.

“The woman, what was her name?”

“I don't know. She wouldn't tell me... long black hair... Rachel's mum! You have to tell her, even if she was a bit crazy, she seems to really like you and looked crushed and sad....”

So it was Shelby. Should he really set her straight? Would it be so bad to let her believe what she wanted? It would be a good way to get rid of her. He glanced at Kurt who was still rambling on and without thinking any longer he took his hand in his.

“Stop apologising. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I outed you and you’re not even gay!”

“You didn't, she did... Would you mind if...”

“If?”

“If I didn't correct her?”

Kurt looked at him, blinking with disbelief.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean – would you mind if I let her believe that we are a couple?”

“But we... you... are not... Why would you do that?”

It might be a bad idea, but as he looked at Kurt, it felt like he was the answer to all the prayers he’d never said. So he took a deep breath and began explaining himself.

“Did I ever tell you what happens when I am at school or at the park with the kids?”

As Kurt shook his head, he carried on.

“I play with them at the very most for forty-five-minutes and then I sit on a bench while they play with their friends. If I could sit there and do whatever I want, it would be nice… except it never happens. Women, mostly 'Rachel's mom' and Sugar Motta, sit next to me to talk, flirt, and touch my arms, my legs and, once, Sugar even tried to grope my... well you know.” He made a gesture with his hand toward his crotch.

Kurt smiled and said.

“Your tra-la-la?”

“Ah, ah, ah, that's not funny. You know, I didn't forget to make a new key for Beth without any reason when we met. After having spent more than an hour trying to explain to them that yes, they were nice women but, no, I wasn't interested, the only thing I wanted was to go home.”

“Okay, I understand what you are trying to say but are you aware that there is no going back after that? Once people think you are gay, you can't make them change their minds. Once they give you a label...”

“I won't say anything; only let them believe what they want.”

Kurt stared at him, as if he was reading him then shrugged. “Do whatever you want, but don't forget that your decisions may have consequences on your kids. Now, tell me what's happened with Finn. I was right, wasn't I?”

Kurt's eyes and smile were exactly like he’d imagined before joining him on the couch and he smiled back without caring about the fire growing inside his belly.

 

~*~*~*~

When the next day Finn appeared at his door to talk about his reconciliation with Noah, Kurt wasn't really surprised.

What surprised him was the ambivalent feeling the discussion left. First, because he was so used to being careful about what he said about Noah to Finn; secondly because he got the impression they were talking about two different persons.

It took him a moment to realise why.

Finn was talking about the Noah he used to be _Puck_ while Kurt talked about the Noah he was.

The funny part of the afternoon had been watching Beth and Finn together, looking at each other while knowing who the other was. Finn's eyes were unusually wet, while Beth's were full of questions she didn't dare to ask. They were kind of dancing around and that was nice to watch.

The best part was undoubtedly Jamie and Noah's arrival when the little boy looked at Finn before saying, quite seriously, “It’s true, you are not that old...”

The remainder of the week passed like every other week. Since nothing had been said about the whole couple thing, Kurt thought Noah had changed his mind. So he was surprised to see the Puckerman family at his door on the sunny Sunday afternoon, asking him to join them for their outing at the park.

~*~*~*~

Noah read the question in Kurt's eyes and nodded, yes he was sure. Kurt put his coat and shoes on, then with Jamie's hand in Noah’s and Beth’s in Kurt's, they headed to the park, talking and joking together.

Noah smiled wider, thinking that they were exactly what a perfect family looked like.

He didn't know why these kinds of thoughts always came to him when Kurt was there, but he didn't want to look into it. He just wanted to enjoy the moment, so he focused on the discussion his son was having with Kurt.

“Do you play football? Because we weren't sure so we didn't bring the ball. You know, daddy is teaching me how to be a receiver!”

The answer surprised Noah. “Well, I am not a great receiver but, you know, I was the kicker of my high school team for a while. And I was quite good, one of the best they had.”

“Really?” Saying he was superman wouldn't have made Jamie happier. “Maybe you could show me next time?”

They kept on talking and it was as adorable as it was hilarious. Neither knew a damn about football and Kurt_ despite his stint as kicker_ was the worst.

At least he thought so until Beth opened her mouth and asked how many bases there were in football. While the other two shrugged, Noah thought, 'I have works!'

When they reached the park, he noticed that Kurt was looking around him, probably for a free bench and smiled. He waved at the kids, silently counting one, two, three... before touching Kurt's arm and yelling, “You're it!”

 

~*~*~*~

Hiding behind a tree, Kurt watched the kids running and smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he’d played so freely or even if he’d ever done it.

He’d forgotten how nice it was.

He enjoyed it so much that it took him a moment to realise Noah was nowhere to be seen. The other man must be hidden, too. He looked again more carefully but really couldn't see him. Keeping alert, he stood up, so focused on his search that he didn't notice the frozen children looking curiously in his direction.

He suddenly felt hands on his waist picking him up until he was upside-down over Noah's shoulder.

“Got you!”

Moving his feet and lightly beating him on the back Kurt yelled, “Noah! Put me down!”

The answer rang out without a pause, “No, I told you: I got you and now I’m keeping you!” and then he began to spin around, laughing and tapping Kurt’s ass.

Kurt kept on yelling and was soon laughing too. Jamie was running around them asking for his turn. When Kurt said he was going to throw up, Noah finally stopped and holding him like a bride he delicately put him on a bench and kissed him on the forehead before sitting by his side.

“Dad, do me too! Dad!” Jamie's cheeks were pink and his eyes were full of hope.

“Sorry, kiddo, but I am a bit like Kurt, kind of sick. Maybe later, okay? Why don't you go to the swing with Bethie while I recover?”

“Daddy, pleeease!” Kurt looked at Jamie's puppy's eyes and stifled his laugh. Would it work?

“Jamie...” Apparently not.

The little boy sighed and headed to the swings, dragging his feet, and this time Kurt laughed as he shook his head: that boy was something...

When his eyes crossed Noah's, his laugh stuck in his throat.

He just became aware of what had just happened: Noah had kissed him... on the forehead... in front of everyone. He glanced in the children’s direction and saw Shelly... no Kelly... well, Rachel's mum was sitting on a bench and looking at them. So he asked one last time, “Are you sure, Noah?”

He didn't receive a vocal answer, but felt Noah’s arm go around his shoulders, pressing him against his side. He stopped fighting and let his head rest on his shoulder, enjoying his warmth and light musky scent.

It had been a long time since the last time he had been that close to another man and it felt good. He sighed and couldn't help but think it was a good way to spend his week-end.

 

~*~*~*~

Having a man in his arms like he used to have women should be strange but wasn't, Noah thought.

He had sparks in his stomach. It was a feeling he knew, but hadn't felt in a long time... years... and never for a man.

If he remembered well, the first time was when Kitty and he got a little sexy at 14.

He smiled, thinking about their 'sext' as they used to call it. How could he ever have found it exciting when it was so shallow?

At the time, he thought meaningless sex was the best thing ever so he had it, often. He got into most of the cheerios’ panties, and lots of married women’s, too, before realising his mistake.

Quinn and Beth made him change his ways. When Quinn and he finally started going steady, he understood. There was nothing better than feeling the one you love against you _ should that be in a cuddle or a sexy way_ that being together was more important than what you do. He gave a quick look around and noticed Shelby and Sugar a few benches away; as he watched them he brushed his lips on Kurt's hair, liking its softness and fruity smell. He felt Kurt's hand moving and he reached for it.

 

~*~*~*~

That afternoon at the park was the first of the “family” outings Kurt had with the Puckermans. The outings always took place the same way.

They played with the kids for a while and even Beth joined them_ which apparently didn't occur in months_ before sitting on a bench, kinda cuddling or at least holding hands.

If the first time they stayed in an awkward silence, the others were not.

Eyes were often following them but Noah didn't seem to notice or care so he tried not to either.

Touching each other gradually became something commonplace; it wasn't just a Sunday afternoon thing.

They would kiss on the cheek to say ‘hi’, and cuddle during movies, which in itself was nice, but Kurt was aware of a change inside of him.

Noah was slowly becoming more than he should. In three months’ time, he went from a faded memory to one of his best friends with the potential for more.

He had to stop it or at least put up some barrier if he didn't want them to be hurt.

No more meeting with Finn and Rachel which looked more like double dating than a friendly outing, more space between them and he had to go out.

He hadn't gone to a club or a bar with Blaine and Mercedes more than twice since he’d met the Puckermans.

He had to remember Noah wasn't for him; he was Quinn's, even if she wasn't here anymore. He just had to look around him the next time he was at Noah's. She might be dead, but she was still here, in every piece of furniture and ornaments.

It was time for a change.


	3. part 3

Beth helped to set the table and sighed. Once again there were only three plates. Why wasn’t Kurt eating with them anymore?

“What's the problem sweet pea,” her dad asked casually. She turned around to look at him before asking, “Why isn’t Kurt eating with us anymore?”

She might only be 10, but she saw her father's face change even if she didn't know what it meant.

“I don't know, Beth; he must be busy with school and work.”

She thought about it for a minute and said, “But he always had school and work and it never stopped him before. I don't understand.”

“Well, why don't you ask him on Monday? Best way to get an answer.”

She considered it a moment and nodded. Her dad was right. As she went to her room she heard Jamie ask, “Why isn't Kurt here, daddy? I miss him...” That confirmed her decision: she definitely had to ask.

On Sunday, Kurt was there for the park but only for football time. He didn't stay to sit on the bench with their daddy to do their grownup thingy and dad was sad like he was before Kurt joined them.

When she looked over at him a little bit later, Miss Motta had come to talk to him and he looked even sadder. Beth was sure he missed Kurt even more at that moment because they left not long after that.

She wondered all Monday long how she was going to ask. She wasn't as good as Jamie at asking things, and the question was kinda personal and awkward.

When the time to go home arrived she still had no clue. She walked home, ate her snack and did her homework, all while wondering what to say.

In the end, Kurt unconsciously helped her.

Beth was on the sofa, trying to read the third Harry Potter – her dad and Kurt said she had to read them before being permitted to watch the movie – and she really wanted to watch it Friday after dinner. That way, Kurt had to be here for the “Family Friday” as he used to call it when he lived with his dad.

In brief, that was her purpose but it was hard to focus on the book. Not because she didn't like it – because she did – but since she was trying to find the courage to open her mouth and ask the question.

“Is everything okay, Beth?” Kurt's voice made her jump.

“Of course, why?” Durmstrang, now she had the perfect opening!

“Are you sure? Because you are very quiet and haven't turned a page for a while.”

She closed her eyes and asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did, but yes, of course.”

“Have we done something wrong?” It wasn't what she wanted to ask but it would do.

“Wrong? I don't think so... Why are you asking me that?”

Then, it was as if a flood barrier broke inside of her. “You used to spend a lot of time with us but not anymore. I miss you and Jamie and daddy miss you, too. Then I thought about it, maybe you don't like us anymore and...” She felt tears in her eyes but didn't want to cry.

“Beth, sweetie, I like you as much as before, I promise you.” Kurt’s voice was soft and soothing as he came and sat beside her.

She wiped her eyes before looking at him and asked, “So why?” She hated hearing her voice so unsure.

“Why, what?

“Why aren't you here anymore?”

This time, tears ran down her cheeks; why did people always leave them? First mommy and then Kurt...

“But I am here.” Kurt had no idea the others were feeling this way but he had to stick to his decision.

Beth shook her head. “No. You don't cook with us, eat with us, or spend the night…”

Her words failed to elicit any response and she thought: ‘I was right, he hates us.’

Kurt took a breath before saying, “You are right. Or at least a part of it is right, but that's not because you did something wrong or because I hate you. On that, you couldn't be more wrong. I love you, the three of you, so much.”

“So, why?” Beth really didn't understand.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Kurt had a slightly hesitant look on his face but he waited for her to respond.

Still looking at him, Beth nodded.

“Before I met you, I thought that family life wasn't for me. I thought I would have a boyfriend or a husband but nothing more. Then, I met you and Jamie and your daddy and you know what I discovered?”

“No.”

“I discovered that I love to be with you so much. I love waiting for you to come home from school, I love playing dinosaurs with Jamie or talking with your dad. I feel like I am part of a family and I love it.”

She couldn't hold it in any longer and she exclaimed, “But if you like it so much, why don't you do it anymore?”

“Because I am not…” Kurt broke off, not knowing how much a child would understand.

She didn't understand so she asked, “You are not… what?”

“I am not part of the family. I am your daddy's friend, and yours and Jamie's and I love you all, but I am not family, and spending time with you helped me to realise that I want a family like yours.” He sighed as he looked at his hands. “I want to love and be loved like your parents loved each other and I want children... and for that I need to meet other people until I meet the one for me. Do you understand?”

She thought about it for moment and nodded, even if she still missed him, and felt like he already had a family – hers.

Kurt leaned over and hugged her for a long time and then they stayed on the sofa, reading together.

****************

Noah looked at his daughter pulling three plates out of the cupboard without a word or sigh about the absent one and wondered if she had asked Kurt her questions.

To be honest, he was curious too and he missed Kurt like he would have never imagined. He missed their talks, their cuddles on the couch and benches.

He didn't realise before the other man made himself scarce, but he had come to rely more and more on Kurt to the point that he felt like he had someone to help him to bring up his kids.

Kind of like when Quinn was still here but with a feeling of easiness that he didn't remember. He glanced at Beth and struggled not to ask her anything. After all, he had told her to be straight and talk to Kurt; he should be able to follow his own advice.

He sighed and called Jamie in to dinner, hoping Beth would talk openly about her discussion with Kurt.

He was lucky, because he didn't have to wait long for it to happen. Jamie sat, tasted the food and put back his fork on the table, folded his arms and pouted.

“Don’t you like the dinner, Jamie,” Noah asked.

“I do, but Kurt puts a secret thing in it and it makes it better but it's not there!” Jamie’s voice was a whine.

“A secret thing... Well, if you tell me what is it I might get it for you,” Noah said.

“But I don't know! He said it's his mother's secret recipe.”

Feeling an opening, Noah calmly answered, “Ask him again next time you see him, okay? Who knows? He might tell you.”

Since nothing could prevent Jamie from eating, he took his fork back up and took four mouthfuls before asking, “When is it?”

“When is what?” Noah was puzzled at what he was asking.

“Well, when will I see him next time? Can't I phone him now?”

Noah shrugged and restrained a smile. He opened his mouth to tell him that 'No, he couldn't call Kurt now' but Beth's answer cut in.

“Kurt said he would be here tomorrow and promised me three dinners a week with us from now on... and he said he was going to call you later, dad.”

“Why couldn't he come today? I miss my secret thing and Kurt, too...” Jamie was still whining.

Noah shook his head and laughed; he just loved his son's priorities.

Beth answered her brother, “Can't, he has a romantic date.”

What was that feeling in his stomach?

“A date? With who?” Jamie blurted the question with wide eyes.

Noah stayed silent, happy to have Jamie asking the questions in his place.

“Don't know, he didn't say... Did you know he wanted a family, like us...?” Then her fork fell into her plate and she put her hands in front of her mouth, eyes wide open. “... I wasn't supposed to say that! It's a secret! Don't tell him I told you, please! Jamie, Daddy, swear!”

They both swore not to say anything and quickly finished their meal – or at least the children did because, for some reason, Noah found he wasn't hungry anymore.

Two hours later, Noah was in his bed and couldn't find his sleep. Beth's revelation, followed by Kurt's confirmation left him with a huge knot in his stomach that he didn't understand.

He missed his friend like he never missed anyone but Quinn. But Quinn was his wife and she was dead while Kurt was neither.

He should be happy for him.

The best friend he’d had since high school was looking for love, and a family of his own. It was good news, wasn't it, especially for someone like Kurt, who hadn't been lucky in this department so far?

For Kurt, there hadn’t been a lot of choices in Lima – except for a jerk named Sebastian. In New York, he had gone out a few months with a closeted jock who had been a bit psycho and Blaine. He’d only been out twice with the latest before they both realised they were better friends than boyfriends.

To sum up, Kurt didn't have a lot of experience and even fewer good ones. So even if he dated, he would need time to find the right person and even longer to build a family.

Noah turned in his bed and buried his head in the pillow.

Why did Kurt need a family? Didn't he realise he already had one, with them?

They were everything a family should be.

They loved each other – maybe in a friendly way but it was still love. They were very affectionate, they cuddled, held hands and took care of two children, talked about everything and went out together. He knew Beth and Jamie loved Kurt as much as he did. Shouldn't it be enough?

When they were all together it felt like what a perfect family should be. Why would Kurt need to build another one? What was missing here for him?

He kept thinking about it without finding an answer until sleep came.

As promised, Kurt came the next day. At first, Noah was as happy as the children but that changed toward the end of the evening. For the second night in a row, he found himself lying in his bed thinking about Kurt when he came to a conclusion: Yes, it felt good to have Kurt back with them but something was still missing.

The worst was that he was still unable to say what it was that was missing but things were different between them now – and not in a good way.

When Kurt had phoned him the previous day, he told him part of the talk he’d had with Beth; how he assured her that nothing was wrong, but Noah was beginning to believe it wasn't completely true.

He watched with pleasure as his children interacted with Kurt and things seemed normal. The only difference he noted was in Kurt's behaviour toward him.

What if he was the one having done something wrong? He tried to think about the difference; what was it?

After a few minutes of thought, he knew. The touch, or to be more precise the lack of touch, that was the missing part.

A quick kiss on the cheek in a way of saying 'hello' and another one as 'goodbye'... and that was it.

No more hands brushed.

No cuddles.

No playful elbow jab.

Nothing.

And just then he realised that Kurt had stopped touching him for more than their Sunday afternoon show and it was the major missing part in their relationship.... and he didn't like it one bit.

****************

Kurt was exhausted. His day had been long and the evening even longer. No, scratch that, it wasn't true. He enjoyed his evening with the Puckermans a lot more than most of his evenings this month.

He missed Noah, Beth and Jamie a lot. With the exception of their first afternoon in his kitchen, being in their company was so easy, so normal.

No, the bad side, the most tiring thing was to be cautious, to always be careful to stay on the friendly boundary with Noah. It was so easy to slide under the more-than-friends line.

He missed the easy way they used to be around each other but the change was a necessity and he had to keep it up. Maybe he should have talked with Noah about it but things would have been awkward. Now Noah must have noticed the change and since he hadn't asked any questions, he must have thought it was a good thing for them.

Here he was, in his bed at 11 p.m. for the first time since he’d decided to accept all invitations a month ago.

He went out with friends from school, with Mercedes and Blaine; he’d even had three 'romantic dates', as Beth would say.

When he went to bars with Blaine, he met lots of nice men. All more than ready for one-night stands but who became real jerks once they understood he was looking for something more.

Spending time with his schoolmates seemed nice in theory, but putting up with them for more than two hours straight outside of a class-room was more tiring than running around the park with Jamie for an afternoon.

As for his dates, they were surprising, interesting and even kind of disturbing.

First, he had dinner with Max, a redhead with tiny blue eyes and a killer wardrobe. In all it was a good beginning if he didn't pass all evening long talking about his pets: Avada (his rat) and Kedavra (his snake).

Then there was Jason of the long blond hair and melancholic brown eyes who didn't say three words in one hour before bursting out crying when he thought he saw Chad, the ex he believed forgotten but clearly wasn't. The rest of the evening was shared between Jason talking about how amazing Chad was and Kurt advising him on his winning him back.

The last one wasn't too bad. Cooper was a nice-looking man, sweet blue eyes, nicely muscular but less so than Noah, an aspiring actor and a bit egocentric.

Kurt spent a great part of the date gazing at Cooper’s mouth; first because he talked so much and then just because it was lovely. It was so lovely that he realised he wouldn't mind tasting it – which was new. He wondered if those lips were as soft as Noah's before scolding himself: he had to stop comparing men to Noah, they always came up short.

If he was honest, even with Noah things weren't smooth from the start. Beth led them. But Beth wasn't here to help with Cooper, so he decided to give the guy another chance and called him the next day. They might be able to have dinner on Wednesday (since Tuesday nights now belonged to the Puckermans).

He read somewhere that three dates were the minimum needed to make a decision whether a date would develop into something more. Unless, of course, there was weird stuff such as horrible pets or being in love with one’s ex.

Their second date wasn't too bad, even with Cooper's monologue about himself. The man clearly wasn't a fan of “If you have nothing interesting to say, best was to shut up” but he was good company and kind of funny. Kurt thought he might ask him in for a nightcap next time, and if he was lucky he might even taste his lovely lips. But just lips, he wasn't ready for more.

****************

It’s funny that when people don't want to think about something, they can't focus their minds on anything else.

That was exactly what was happening to Noah at the moment; he didn't want to think about Kurt, or where he was or – even worse – with whom, but he couldn't help himself.

He thought back about what Kurt had said the previous day, how he nearly stopped seeing his friends since he’d become friends with the Puckerman family.

Noah hated to admit it but the statement was true for him, too. He had seen neither Lauren nor Sam in a while. And while they exchanged texts and emails regularly, the last time they were face to face was for Sam's birthday, almost three months ago.

It had been too long and it needed to change.

He checked the time and since it was too late to call, he sent an email to invite them by on Saturday evening. Saturday was the perfect day for two reasons: one, the kids didn't have school the next day and two, it would prevent him from thinking too much.

He stayed a bit longer on the computer playing some Dominion and Tobago – damn, he’d forgotten how bad he was at the first one. He checked his email one last time before turning it off and smiled when he saw the two almost simultaneous positive answers.

The four days before dinner went quickly. Eliza had invited Beth to a pyjama party so they would only be four. As he told Lauren and Sam in his email, it was going to be a pizza, beer and soda night; nothing fancy so there wasn’t a lot of preparation, just a bit of cleaning.

Thinking about it, they would probably play something because Sam and Lauren were gamers. They could play anything for hours, from battleships to poker or tic-tac-toe.

Kurt offered on Friday to drop off Beth as it was on his way to the where he was having his third date with that Cooper. According to Kurt, he was a 'beautiful, egocentric guy' who was apparently stupid, in Noah’s opinion, since he hadn't even tried to kiss Kurt. Three dates and no kiss; he might not have dated in a while but kisses were a minimum, especially when dating a man like Kurt!

He had to stop. He banned himself from thinking or talking about Kurt and his fucking date and why it annoyed him so much.

Instead, he thought about the first time he heard about Sam. He was firstly a friend of Quinn’s; they were in the same psychology class in freshman year. He remembered being mad when he had realised that Sam was short for Samuel and not Samantha like he’d thought.

Quinn reassured him, saying it was just nice to make new friends. People, who knew who she was now, accepted her and wouldn't turn their backs on her because she wasn't who they’d wanted.

After this Samuel (he called him like that for months after their first meeting, just to annoy him) became a regular fixture in their home.

Hearing the doorbell, he headed to the door and saw Jamie running to reach it before him and yelling, “Do you think it's Sam?!”

He just had the time to open the door and say 'hi' to the other man before Jamie pulled Sam to his room because he just had to show him something.

Sam always got along better than Lauren with the kids. It probably was because he was such a dork who loved toys and anime and things like that.

Funny that even if Sam enjoyed spending time Beth, Jamie and him, it never had the family vibes they felt with Kurt.

Before he could dwell on that thought, the bell rang; it was Lauren this time.

She’d come into their lives a few months after Sam. He’d met her in his accounts class. Her huge stature mixed with a killer look were like a wall between the world and her but one night he offered to stay a bit longer to explain a lesson that she’d missed. That's when he discovered that, behind her intimidating appearance, she was just a big softie that life had hurt.

She had broken her knee two years before and with it disappeared her dreams of Olympic medals. She had to find a new goal and since numbers had always been easy for her she gave it a try.

He smiled, thinking about the first time Quinn had seen her. If he’d come to like Sam, nothing of that sort happened between Quinn and Lauren.

They were complete opposites in everything: there was a short, slender blonde who was very religious on one hand and a tall, big-boned, muscular, raven-haired atheist on the other. They didn't like the same music, food or TV shows and had opposite political views.

The only thing they had in common was him, so they tried to get along for his sake.

To be honest, he mostly spent time with Lauren when Quinn wasn't here as it was better for all concerned.

Sam and Lauren met once Quinn… left. They had helped him a lot to keep his life on board. At the beginning, they hardly let a week pass without seeing each other. Now, it was really strange that they hadn't been together for so long.

The beginning of the evening gave him strange vibes. They joked and talked like they used to but something wasn't the same.

Things weren't as smooth as before. Not that he wasn’t enjoying it, but something was missing, something he didn't know; something they were... hiding?

Since he didn't want to interrogate them in front of his son, he proposed that Jamie eat his pizza in front of a movie.

He refused Harry Potter and Gladiator before Jamie settled down in front of Mary Poppins because “Did you know that it was Kurt's favorite, dad?”

Noah shook his head as he hadn't known and went back to the kitchen... where a surprising show was waiting for him.

He waited a few seconds before exclaiming, “So that was it!” He smiled when they jumped and moved away from one other.

Lauren and Sam.

Well he hadn't seen that coming, at all.

Mister ‘I-would-shave-my-head-to-kiss-Keira Knightley's hand’ and Miss ‘I-prefer-older-experienced-sullen-men-like-Leroy-Jethro Gibbs’.

They couldn't be further from their ideals but judging from their smiles (and Sam's red cheeks) they didn't mind too much.

“Shut up, Puckerman!” Lauren's answer to his teasing was a pretty normal response for her.

“Chill out! Just... you guys are happy?”

Sam looked at Lauren while she gazed at him.

“Yes.”

As they didn't offer more information so he sat at the table, took a piece of pizza and asked, "So how did it happen? You were not that... close the last time I saw you, right?” As neither seemed inclined to talk, he drank half of his beer and urged them on. “Come on, guys, story time!”

Something changed in Lauren's eyes but she nodded and said, “Okay, but don't forget the table can turn.”

He shook his head, not really concerned and opened his ears.

“I told you I went to Vegas for a week two months ago?” Lauren started.

Before he could even nod, Sam added: “I was there too, Stevie's stag party.” Noah frowned and shut up abruptly and took a long swallow of beer.

“Okay, let's be straight, we partied a lot and woke up married.” Lauren stared at him smugly as she finished.

Noah spat out some of the beer, took a napkin to clean himself and said, “Okay, well, I definitely didn't see that one coming! Married? Were you...? Have you…”

“No.”

“You don't know what I was going to ask!”

“It doesn't matter, the answer remains the same: no sex, no kiss, no dates, nothing before that night.”

Noah looked at them one after the other and then together. “But you are happy, right?”

“You ramble, man! We already told you: yes!”

“Excuse me, Sam, but I think that for the nonce, I am allowed to. Last time...”

“Things change, Puckerman, get over it.”

“Can I have some coke, please, daddy?”

Noah turned his head in the voice's direction and saw Jamie, his charming smile on his face and holding out his glass.

“Nice try, buddy, but you know it's only one glass of coke at night so… water or milk?”

Jamie tilted his head on one side and casually said, “You know, dad, you are nicer when Kurt is here...”

Oh, the little manipulator! “If Kurt were here, you wouldn't even try for one. Since all the chemical products...”

“…are bad for your health, I know. Milk... please. But you know I just had to try.”

He went to the fridge, took the milk and poured it.

“Is Kurt the friend who gave you the Spiderman action figure,” Sam asked.

“Yes, Kurt is the bestest!”

“The ‘best’ is enough – and what about me,” Noah teased his son.

He felt Lauren’s suspicious eyes on him but kept looking at his son.

“You are just the same, dad!" Noah prayed Lauren wouldn’t get what his son was on about.

“Really?” Lauren’s snide tone made Noah nervous but Jamie didn't notice and kept talking.

“Yes! And do you know what?”

“What?”

“Kurt’s pizza is better than this one! Very, very, very yummy.”

Wanting to put an end to the discussion before Jamie said more than he should, he asked the little boy if the movie was already finished.

Sheepishly, he shook his head. “No, don't tell Kurt but I don't like it that much. Can't I watch Harry Potter instead?”

Damn! That boy was stubborn “No, you know the rule.”

“But I don't know how to read yet!”

“Then you wait. How do you feel about some Go Fish, guys?”

Jamie didn't wait for the adults' answers. He ran to his room and came back with the game in less than 30 seconds.

Noah looked at his friends and said, “Let's talk about it later, Mr. and Mrs. Evans...”

“It's still Zizes.”

Sam won twice and Jamie once before Noah announced it was the last game for the little boy.

As usual, Jamie tried to stretch out the time but as it wasn't working he asked Sam to read him his bedtime story.

When they both left the room, Lauren turned her head in Noah’s direction and stared at him. To avoid the questions he felt coming, he launched into the cleaning up and interrogated her about her parents, some of their mutual friends and their jobs.

Everything was working to prevent her from asking about Kurt. He was sure that if he could delay her questions until Sam was back he would be safe. He wouldn't have to answer questions he didn't want nor have answers for.

He politely asked her if she wanted some coffee, tea or hot milk. She nodded at the second one and said Sam would take a hot chocolate.

He gave a huge sigh of relief when he heard Sam's footsteps, thinking he could stop worrying but he was wrong. As soon as Sam closed the door he asked, “Since when does Jamie have an imaginary friend?”

Well, that wasn't the question he was afraid of but it sure was a strange one.

“An imaginary friend?” He was unsure of what Sam was talking about.

“Yep, Kurt.”

Shit, Lauren had a smirk and there was no way to avoid this talk.

“Kurt is real, Sam.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. I see him, talk to him and even touch him. Kurt is real.”

Sam looked pensive then he said: “How come you never told us you had a boyfriend?”

“A what?! Should I remind you that even if some women at the park think so, I am not gay?”

“I know you are not gay, but you cannot be straight and have a boyfriend, you know. I am and I had a good time with John. And from what Jamie said...”

“You were seventeen at the time! Boys experiment at seventeen, I am 27. if I was supposed to experiment, I would have done it already, don't you think? And what did Jamie say? You know that boy has a fertile imagination.”

Sam took a sip of milk as Lauren asked casually, “Do you remember Jess?”

Still hoping for a change of subject he nodded. She’d dated him for a few months last year.

“Well, her full name is Jessica Rabbit. We went out for nearly two months. I was 26, and I enjoyed spending time with her, a lot. If she hadn't moved to Miami, we might still be going out.”

So much for the change of topic, he sighed. He tried not to think about her 'revelation' and asked Sam once more, “So, what did Jamie say?”

“Just that you have dinner together very often and go shopping together. He also regretted not joining Beth at Kurt’s apartment for their after-school time. Apparently you play football together on Sundays and he is a very good cook, reads stories better than me, and...”

Noah interrupted him. “So what? We do a lot of things together... I have done those things with you, too.”

“And Quinn.”

“Yes and Quinn.” Shit, he shouldn't have said that so he quickly added, “But Kurt and I, it's not like with Quinn; we are just friends.”

He didn't listen to the voice in his head that was saying it was sometimes better than with Quinn, easier. “She was and remains the love of my life.”

“If he is only your friend as you say, why isn't he here tonight? Isn't it a pizza between friends? You know we are not savages, we welcome newcomers.”

Why did she always ask the hard things? He could lie, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. They pushed him into thinking about what he had been avoiding for a while but being on the hot seat wasn't easy.

He didn't know how to voice what he didn't accept yet. But they were his friends, and they didn't want to hurt him so he tried to be as honest as possible.

“He has a date. I can spend time with my friends without him, you know?”

Sam and Lauren looked at each other as if they were silently speaking then they turned their eyes back in his direction and Sam asked, “Did you know?”

“Did I know what?”

“Did you know that he had a date before inviting us? Don't think about it, just answer me.”

“Yes.”

“So why today?”

“Because he was right, we need to see other people and...”

“And?”

“And I didn't want to be alone thinking about where and who he was with, idiot!”

Silence followed his confession.

…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta : GayforKurt thanks!

He snuggled a bit more against the warm body next to him. Eyes closed, he took a deep breath; fruity perfume, nice. Lips slid on his neck, making their way to nibble on his earlobe before taking his mouth in a breath-taking kiss.

Noah smiled and finally opened his eyes to look at Kurt's face and his heart broke.

Alone.

He was alone in a bed that had never before felt so big… or so empty.

He glanced at the time. What a shame to be awake at six on a Sunday morning.

His mind went back to the discussion he’d had with Lauren and Sam. To be honest, it seemed more like a therapy session than a discussion between friends. Maybe they were leftover habits from his job.

So they talked and asked questions. Answering faithfully had been hard, not because he was some kind of pathological liar, but because it would have been easier than facing the truth.

He thought about the main purpose of the evening and laughed: complete fail. The discussion mostly turned around Kurt, Quinn and him, sometimes the kids.

Yep, a true therapy session. He might ask Sam his fee. A Saturday night session had to be expensive!

He took the pillow – which was Kurt's in his dream – put it over his head and breathed deeply. No Kurt smell, just that of the softener.

His eyes set upon the photo frame on the night-table of Quinn and he dressed for their wedding. They didn't wear anything classy, just a classic yellow dress, gray pants and a shirt. It had been a very simple wedding – just the two of them and the judge.

They were afraid but determined to make things work. He smiled and thought for a moment that they did make it work.

But then Sam’s words came back to his mind.

Was he right?

Did they stay together because they didn't want the people in Lima to be right?

Was it because they knew they could lean on each other when things got difficult? Because they were what resembled the most like a family?

Was it more a friendly love than a passionate one?

He should stop thinking about it. Nothing good could come from those thoughts.

Though Quinn and he had been, it was the past now.

He knew he’d loved her and that she’d loved him, whatever the kind of love.

It was a love that brought them the two most wonderful children in the world and the rest didn't matter. The discussion of the previous night helped him to put things behind him. Quinn was dead but he wasn't and he should make the most of it.

No regrets.

Despite his short night, he knew sleep had left for good. He lazed a moment in the bed before getting up.

Yesterday, Lauren said something he didn't understand, how he’d lived in Quinn's universe, not his.

How could that be possible when Quinn had never even put a foot in this apartment? Of course, most of the furniture was the same since he couldn't allow himself to change them at will.

He hadn't had much money at the time and food and clothes for the kids were priorities. He couldn't stand the idea of his kids missing what they need.

He went to the bathroom, washed up and finally looked around him, wondering what made it Quinn-like.

There was her perfume on the shelf; it smelled like roses.

The three little soaps in the swan shape that he said were ridiculous when she bought them.

Why was he still using sponges when he preferred washcloths?

Without a pause, he carried on the “visit” of his own home, each room making more contributions to Lauren's theory.

Why was his bedroom light pink? He remembered buying the paint in the shop and thinking: 'bedroom, pink; bathroom, lilac; living room, purple; kitchen, yellow.'

It had been automatic.

He didn't even like those colors except for the yellow. To be honest, he couldn't stand purple and lilac.

His mother had decided to repaint the entire house after his father left and she had chosen everything.

His bedroom had been a mix of purple and pale lilac and he’d always hated it.

Quinn had chosen the decorations in their house. He’d wanted her to be as happy as possible and while he had learned to ignore his surroundings, she hadn't. To be honest, he’d thought at that time that they had more important stuff to discuss than the color of the walls.

But now, if he wasn't sure of the color or thing he liked or wanted, he knew without any doubt what he did not want.

He hated those sheets and bedspread in lace but loved the duvet, so he could begin with that. Kurt had a lot of cushions everywhere and Noah thought it was nice and looked comfy.

After leaving the bathroom, he did the only thing that could be done immediately: he took the crucifix and the picture of Jesus down.

He was Jewish, Durmstrang!

That simple action removed a weight off his shoulders.

He did the same in the bathroom, in the kitchen and in the living-room.

He took out everything he didn't like or even hated but never really noticed before: dolls and porcelain figurines (fucking dust trap!), more Jesus and that Twilight poster.

“What are you doing, daddy?”

Noah nearly fell off the chair on which he was standing. Jamie was in the doorway, watching him with an intrigued expression.

“Good morning, Jamie. Well, I am...” Noah looked around him and saw the bric-a-brac piled up on the table and said, “Spring cleaning! I need some changes. If you want, you can help me, but after you’ve had breakfast, of course. Take a look at all those things and if there is anything you want to keep, say it.”

He reached for the unbearable and horrible cuckoo clock and took it down.

“So – eggs, sausages or cereal?”

The answer wasn't long in coming and Jamie yelled, “Eggs!" before adding, "Can I take down the picture of the man with the beard and the dress, too? I don't like it much.”

 

 

PK PK PK PK

 

Kurt didn't feel like getting up. He thought about the previous night and still couldn't believe how his date had ended.

_Twelve hours before:_

Kurt met Cooper at the other man’s favorite restaurant – The Aquavit. It was expensive but he managed to find something that looked tasty and hopefully didn’t cost a week’s pay.

 

Some friends of Cooper’s came to say hello and he even saw Robert De Niro in a corner. Cooper was talking nonstop about the audition he had the next Monday and with no forethought, Kurt offered to help him rehearse.

From Cooper' smile it seemed to be a great idea. Soon they left the restaurant and headed to Kurt's.

Politely he offered something to drink but apparently Cooper was focused on his rehearsal, so Kurt sat on the couch and wait. The actor stood in front of the TV, back to Kurt; he took deep breaths, getting ready for his scene.

Then, he turned around and began to talk. It was an odd mix of talk, weeping and... song? With lots of arm movement, it kind of looked ridiculous. At one point, Cooper laid down on the floor, a hand on his throat and that was when Kurt recognized the play it was from.

Oh gosh, he felt he had to say something about that... slaughter! Oh god, he had to think and fast because Cooper had already got back on his feet and clearly looking at Kurt with eyes full of hope.

“So was it good or even better,” asked the actor, if such he could be called.

Kurt opened his mouth slowly, still looking for something nice to tell him and said, “It's a very well done parody of Romeo and Juliet.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realised it was the worst thing to say. Cooper's body stiffened and his face grew harsh.

“A parody? I have never been so insulted in my life! You must have shit in your eyes for not noticing it was the best monologue of Romeo you would ever see!”

Kurt looked at him, eyes wide; he didn't recognize the man in front of him. He realized from their first meeting that Cooper was egocentric, but only just now understood how full of himself he truly was.

Cooper left less than fifteen minutes after arriving and Kurt knew there wouldn't be a fourth date. Now, he was in his bed, torn between sighing and laughing; yes, visualized, the monologue was that funny.

Tonight he was going to watch The Sound of Music and eat tons of chocolate ice cream; he needed some Kurt time.

But it was written somewhere that he couldn't have it that Sunday.

At two o'clock, someone knocked at the door. A very excited Beth announced they would leave a bit later than usual because daddy did a little spring cleaning – even if it was summer – and he’d forgot the time.

Intrigued, Kurt nodded and Beth left, promising to be back in an hour.

At first, he wanted to forgo the family outing that day, even if that meant Noah was going to have to fight the women off. He really needed to be alone, but Beth had roused his curiosity.

He got ready and waited. It was really hot outside so he hoped they wouldn't play football. He took the time to prepare a bag with some snacks and water, thinking Noah might forget if he was in a hurry.

When they arrived at the park, Kurt tried to find an excuse to avoid football and snuggle time, but as soon as the playground was in sight, Noah told the kids to go and took Kurt's hand in his. He pulled him over to a tree where he sat and invited Kurt to do the same between his legs.

Kurt was used to the cuddle time on the bench but this was different, a lot more intimate. It got worse when Noah's arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer until his back was pressed against Noah's chest and his bottom against his crotch.

As awkward as their position was, Noah didn't seem embarrassed. Instead he sighed with satisfaction, put his chin on Kurt' shoulder and pressed a light kiss to his neck.

Kurt fought a hopeless battle against the feeling of contentment that came over him.

“Noah, what are you doing?” Kurt’s voice was just a murmur.

Noah whispered in his ear, “I’m cuddling my boyfriend.”

At those words, Kurt shivered and thought 'If only...' and then commented, “I know I agreed to play your boyfriend but you shouldn't do that.”

Kurt felt Noah moving slightly away from him and then ask, “Why?”

Kurt didn't know how to answer but tried anyway. “The kids...” but the other man cut him off.

“Beth and Jamie love you. Jamie even said yesterday that you were ‘the bestest’. If they had a problem with me touching you, the question would have been raised already, don't you think?”

That was true; neither Beth nor Jamie had asked any questions about the way Noah and he acted around each other. To be honest, Beth seemed more bothered with the lack of contact. Kurt decided to change direction.

“But the other kids...” He was once more cut off.

“Don't care either. Look at them! They are used to us – and if you look to your right you will see two teenagers whose behavior is less PG than ours. It's only a little hug and kiss. I promise I won't throw you on your back and have my way with you, okay?” As Noah was talking he put his head back on Kurt’s shoulder and held him tight.

“Noah, don't say things like that!” Kurt’s cheeks were flushed as he protested.

“Why? It's true! Now tell me the real problem; I know it has nothing to do with any kids. I noticed, you know.”

Kurt felt the hold on his waist loosen, but Noah didn't back off completely.

“You noticed what?” Kurt was almost positive he knew the answer, but playing dumb worked sometimes.

“The change – and I don't like it. I miss you.” Noah's voice was like a breath in his ear. His words, the way he said them, were nice but they hurt. They hurt because whatever he was trying to say could never be what Kurt was secretly hoping for.

He was aware they needed to talk about it. At first he thought those things, those feelings could remain unsaid but he was wrong.

“Can we... can we talk about it later?” Damn! He hated hearing his voice so insecure.

“Okay, then; tonight after the kids' bedtime.”

It wasn't a proposition, it was a fact so Kurt simply nodded. 'bye, Sound of Music, ‘bye, ice cream'. The silence between them was now awkward but then he had an idea. Why should he say goodbye to his ice cream? He could get some now.

“Let's get some ice cream.” Without giving Noah the time to refuse, he stood up, gathered their things and called the kids. Strange how there was no bargaining and whining from Jamie once Kurt said the words 'ice cream'.

Kurt didn't protest when Noah reached for his hand; it wasn't the first time it happened and usually by the time they reached the pavement they would draw apart, each one having a kid instead.

That wasn't what occurred that day; Jamie, indeed, took one hand but Noah held the other tightly so they held hands until they reached the ice cream parlor.

When each of them had an ice cream in hand, they went to sit at a table outside to enjoy the sun. Kurt was about to taste his coconut ice cream when Jamie asked him a question.

“Do you know Jesus, Kurt?” It was so out of the blue that it took Kurt a few seconds to answer.

“I don't know him, but yes I know who he is. How about you?” He really didn't know where that was coming from. The Puckermans had never seemed very religious, despite the decoration of their home. He listened very closely when Jamie began talking.

“I had his picture in my room, you know, the man with the beard and the funny dress.” Jamie ate a bit of his chocolate ice cream and giggled. “I thought it was a photo of my grandfather but daddy said it wasn't. Do you think Jesus is real? Daddy said he is Jewish but Jewish people don't believe in Jesus. My mommy was Catholic and she believed it. So, what do you think; is he real?”

Kurt glanced at Noah; he didn't know what he should say. It was such a complicated topic. Since the other man didn't give any input, though, Kurt decided to answer as honestly as possible.

“No, I don't believe he was real.” It was the most honest and simplest answer he could give.

“So you are a Jew, like daddy,” Jamie concluded, still eating his ice cream.

Kurt should have left things as they were, but he couldn't help himself. He corrected Jamie; he couldn't be dishonest, even by omission.

“I am not a Jew; I just don't believe Jesus was real.”

It was a complicated subject, even between adults but it was even harder with a child. Beliefs were so personal and he didn't want to influence the little boy. Jamie was looking at him and frowned, even as he continued to eat.

“I don't understand. If you and daddy think the same things, why aren't you a Jew, too?” The little boy looked bewildered.

Kurt smiled and tried to explain. “Jesus is someone people don't always agree on. Some believe in him, others don't; there is no proof to say who is right or wrong.”

He saw in Jamie's eyes that his answer didn't satisfy him so he quickly added without thinking, “Do you remember when we talked about Superman?”

From the corner of his eye he saw Noah's mouth twitching but he kept his focus on Jamie whose eyes were sparkling. “Yes!”

“You said that you believed he was real, Beth thought it was stupid and I said it would be nice to see him if or when he would come to Earth. Jesus is a bit like that. Some people believe in him – like your mom, my parents or my brother; others don't believe in him but hope he will come one day – like your dad or Rachel, and there are people like me who don't believe at all.”

“You think it's stupid, like Beth?” Jamie looked at him curiously.

“No, I don't think it's stupid. Everyone's belief is good for them. Your dad thinks someone like Jesus will come one day. Well, good for him; your mom thought he already came, good for her. I don't believe in any of that but...”

“Good for you!” Jamie echoed Kurt and then asked, “But if you don’t agree, who is right? Because if it's mom, I have to keep the picture but if it's dad or you, I can put up Superman instead!”

“I don't know but when you find the answer tell me, okay?” Kurt gave the little boy with a wink. Then Noah spoke for the first time.

“How about this: you put up your Superman picture and keep Jesus somewhere in your room. We will read some books about Jesus, about being a Jew or Catholic like your mom; then, once you know what you believe, you can decide what to do with the picture," Noah proposed peacefully.

“Can we read about being like Kurt, too,” Jamie asked and then looked at Kurt. “What are you?”

“I am an atheist; it means I don't believe that any of what you are going to read about is true.”

Since Jamie didn't seem to have any more questions, he supposed the talk was finished and he couldn't be happier. He turned his head toward Beth and the discussion went to something lighter: Eliza's birthday the next week.

 

 

PK PK PK PK

 

Kurt invited them to have dinner with him, which was a good thing, Noah thought, since their kitchen was full of stuff they wanted to get rid of. Beth asked to keep one of the porcelain dolls and Jamie took his portrait of Jesus back.

Noah thought over the discussion between Kurt and Jamie and smiled. He didn't know his son had thought Jesus was some kind of odd grandfather; he really needed to work on their religious cultures. He had been happy to hear Jamie ask Kurt because when he’d asked him in the morning, he’d dodged the question.

He was so used to Jamie coming back to him later (so he had time to think about his answer) that he hadn't even thought for a second Jamie would ask someone else; but he had, and as Kurt would say 'good for him!'

The kids took their showers and were ready by 6.30 p.m. Beth put on her nicest nightshirt and Jamie his Superman pajamas. They were both delighted to go out to eat.

“You know, it's as if we have a date with Kurt, isn't it funny,” said a giggling Beth.

The dinner was pretty normal, except when Kurt said he wouldn't have any more dates with the idiot. Noah decided he would ask for more information later because the hidden smile on Kurt's face showed there was more to this story, but that wasn't important right now. Once the dishes were done, they all went over to the other apartment so the kids could go to bed.

As soon as Kurt and Noah were alone, though, the atmosphere shifted; it wasn't as peaceful and they were both nervous.

From their past evenings, he knew how to help Kurt to relax, and now it even worked for him.

He put hot milk and cookies on a tray and he was ready to join Kurt and talk.

 

PK PK PK PK

 

Kurt was waiting for Noah in the living room. He didn't know what the other man was doing but took advantage of his absence to look around him. Odd how much the atmosphere had shifted without the lace and porcelain; it felt more Noah's than before.

From what he was told, the Puckermans had been living here for a little more than three years so he wondered, “Why now?”

Hearing steps, Kurt turned around and watched as Noah rejoined him holding a tray. He knew what was in the cups – hot milk. Funny how well they knew each other after so little time. He took his mug and settled down comfortably on the couch. He sipped some milk and smiled. “Perfect.”

“So what were you talking about,” Noah asked as he sat.

Kurt looked at him and frowned. “Nothing.”

“You just said 'why now'?”

Kurt flushed; had he really said it out loud? Should he tell the truth? It would be simpler for him than their original topic, so he answered.

“I just wondered what made you change the décor so suddenly. You never seemed to care or notice those things and now it's like you can't wait to throw out everything.” He drank some milk, munched a cookie and waited.

PK PK PK PK

Noah was proud to say that by now he knew Kurt quite well. He saw through his tactic but since he actually wanted to tell him about all the revelations he’d had, he acted as if he didn't. After all, he knew for sure that they would eventually talk about everything.

“I finally noticed; no, to be honest, Lauren and Sam helped me, too.”

Kurt stared at him, eyebrows rising, silently asking for precision so he kept going. “Lauren said I was living…”

“…in Quinn's world.” Kurt finished for him.

“Yes, and this morning, I woke up, looked around me and something changed. It was as if everything Quinn liked and I didn't was flashing and I realized Lauren was right. I couldn't stand it, even for one more minute. So I removed all I could and I will do the rest later. ” He looked around him nodding. “This place really needs a complete makeover. Would you help me?”

Kurt's eyes lifted from his cup for the first time since the beginning of the discussion. “Help?”

“Yes, I am bad with decoration and shit, but I like what you did at yours, so I thought you could...”

Kurt nodded and Noah thought his grin was charming. He waited for the younger man to put his cup on the table and then asked him a question.

He didn't go straight for the main purpose of their presence but he said instead. “So, what really happened with the idiot?” As he thought, Kurt’s answer was fast but the, “Nothing, it didn't work” was such a big fat lie, he confronted him.

“Tut, wrong answer, tell me the truth, I know there was something!”

“No, there wasn't.”

“Yes, there was.”

“No, there wasn't!”

And they went on like this for a while and for each 'no' Kurt got more and more red.

When it became clear that Kurt wouldn't tell the truth without some motivating force, Noah pounced on him, caught his arms and tickled him.

It was gentle, at first. “Come on, Kurt, tell me!”

Kurt barely managed to breathe his answer between two bursts of laughter. “Nothing!”

So Noah continued tickling him until Kurt was squirming under him, cheeks flushed, hair disheveled and breathing heavily.

Noah liked feeling Kurt under him like this; he could feel his penis getting harder than it had been in a while and he knew Kurt was in a similar state. Deep inside of him he knew he should stop, but for some reason he wasn't able to.

At least he wasn't, up until the moment Kurt gave in and cried, “Uncle!”

Noah froze up but didn't move or release the other man but he settled for asking, “Bad kisser?”

Kurt shook his head and narrowing his eyes, Noah asked again, “Bad lay?”

Kurt giggled and said, “Not that I know... but probably. I always thought that to be a good lover, you have to be generous and care about others and I must say that Cooper is a bit short on that...”

“So basically, he is a jerk. What did he do to you?” Not that he had a one-track mind, but Noah just really wanted to know.

At this, Kurt just laughed. “He didn't do anything – I did.”

“You?” Noah didn't see that one coming. How was it even possible?

 

PK PK PK PK

 

“Yes, me. I hurt him.” Seeing Noah's skeptical face he added, “Really, he showed me the scene he wanted to do for his audition tomorrow and... well, I didn't laugh but I wasn't far from it.”

“It wasn't a comedy?” Noah supposed.

“No, it was Romeo's death monologue. Oh gosh! I thought it was a parody! Imagine the worst audition of Joey Triviani increased at least ten times. Oh, Noah, I tried to say something nice; honestly, but I couldn't find anything! And he didn't appreciate the 'best parody ever!' So he yelled a bit, nearly cried and then left.”

Oh, just recounting it made him want to laugh.

“No kiss? He just... left?” Noah checked, astonished.

Kurt couldn't help but notice how obsessed by the kissing part Noah was.

“Exactly. So, are you releasing me now,” Kurt asked. And Noah did, but he didn't sit back on the other side of the couch. They stayed silent a few minutes, both savoring a cookie and as Kurt was about to ask if he could put the TV on, Noah spoke.

“Can you tell me now?” His voice was barely a whisper but cut the silence like a knife. “What changed? Did I do something wrong?”

Kurt had thought about it while preparing dinner and none of his scenarios ended well. Nevertheless, he answered the best way he could.

“You didn't do anything, Noah, I promise. It's me; I need to find a place in your life where I won't get hurt. And that's what I am ineptly trying to do.”

He hoped it would be enough. He didn't want to say more but Noah seemed to be glaring at something behind him and then he asked, louder this time, “I don't understand, we all love you, we will never do anything to hurt you!”

Noah's exclamation warmed Kurt’s heart but it didn't change his mind.

“I know you won't, at least not deliberately but you... you must have noticed, too.” He didn't want to say it.

“Noticed what?” This time, Noah's eyes were on him.

“That we weren't behaving like friends, even when we weren’t at the park.” Kurt said it as if it was obvious, and to him it was but apparently not to Noah

“Yes, so what?”

Okay, it wasn't working; Kurt realized he had to try something else, something more straightforward.

“You are a good man, Noah.” It was hard to find his words; he wanted the other man to understand him without revealing too much.

“You too, Kurt.” This kind of interruption just didn't help him.

“Thank you, but I don't think we mean it the same way. I know that we play the little couple at the park so Shelby and others like her will leave you be, but...” and Kurt sighed as he looked at Noah. “Do you remember that for me it's not just an act? I am gay... and when we kiss or cuddle or act like we used to act together, it's hard… and it hurt. Because it makes me hope for something that could never happen. Not for us.”

He had been more direct than he’d wanted and now Noah was staring at him open-mouthed. Afraid of having said too much, Kurt stood up, put his shoes back on and headed for the door. He turned one last time before opening the door; Noah was still stunned and Kurt added a few words.

“I just need a little time to put me back together. I hope it doesn't change anything between us. I love being your friend and I do love the kids.”

He waited a few seconds and then closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Seven days have passed since his discussion with Noah and Kurt still had no clue if he was supposed to be relieved, sad or happy.

At the beginning, he was a bit worried, not knowing what was expected on Monday; but Beth came, as usual, followed by Noah and Jamie a bit later.

Despite the awkward beginning, the adults behaved as usual, too. Everything seemed as normal as possible, except that he’d said things to Noah that would have been better to remain unsaid and that the other man didn't react at all.

On Monday, he stayed home, ate some ice cream and watched The Sound of Music as he had wanted to do on Sunday night. He had dinner with the Puckermans on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Since he decided that he needed some time for himself; he stayed quietly at home the other nights, working a bit, having a spa night with Mercedes or doing little or nothing while trying to not think about Noah's lack of reaction.

Odd, how everything seemed unaltered even though he’d bared his soul to the other man.

Noah even asked him to go to the hardware shop with them to help them to choose the paint colors. They did it instead of going to the park. At first, the kids weren't enthusiastic but at the end, they enjoyed it.

After lots of hesitations it was going to pearl grey for the Master room and peach for the living room.

Kurt tried his best to not influence them, interfering only when they seemed really interested in those awful electric blues. They came home pretty early and before leaving, Kurt had to promise to help to paint the living room the next week.

Until then he knew there would be three evenings at the Puckermans and three at the club. Blaine had been talking about speed dating for a while now, but Kurt wasn't sure he was ready for that.

 

PKPKPK

Six days later, Noah was still cursing himself. Why did he freeze like that? Why did he keep quiet when so many words were running thought his head?

It wasn't as if he, himself, had never thought about it.

Even if he had wanted to avoid it he would have been able to. Every night since then, he went to bed hoping for a peaceful night and ended up with a fucking wet-dream that left him more tired than before.

It was funny.

In a strange way, it was as if his body was back in high school; when he was aroused all night long, dreaming of Quinn, Mrs Jameson or even Laetitia Casta, and most of the day too.

The only difference was that instead of women in various physical aspects, he was only dreaming about a man, a man with soft hands, delicious lips.

He didn't understand what was happening to him.

He had never been attracted to men before and to be honest he still wasn't. He thought about it, though. He tried to turn himself on by imagining guys he knew or celebrities like Brad Pitt and it didn't work.

His crotch didn't even twitch a bit. It stayed completely limp whereas only picturing Kurt's face made him harder than he had been in a while.

It wasn't the only difference.

Whatever he was doing, it was better as long as Kurt was there, even something as boring as doing the dishes.

The seventh day, Noah knew.

He finally understood why Kurt's words left him speechless that day.

It wasn't the surprise because he wasn't, it wasn't the awkwardness because he wasn't either, it wasn’t because he didn't like the words because he did.

He remained speechless because he didn't understand the last sentence.

Why could nothing ever happen between them?

He repeated the talk many times in his head, until he realised. The key was “I am gay” and he could nearly hear the end of the sentence which Kurt didn't say out loud “and you are not.”

From all the wet-dreams he had recently, his heterosexuality wasn't a fact as sure as he thought, or he was a straight man who dreamt about sex with another man.

Was his so-called heterosexuality the reason why Kurt was looking somewhere else instead of what he already had with them?

He thought back to his talk with Lauren and Sam, and nodded. The world wasn't black and white; maybe he should introduce Kurt to all the shades of gray.

Once the decision was made, he easily went back to his old way of acting.  
He started touching Kurt again and stealing kisses as often as possible and finding opportunities to be with him but despite his best effort, Kurt didn't understand, or at least didn't seem prone to understand.

He kept talking about clubs, bars or guys he met, but the worst was that he was seriously considering trying speed dating with Blaine.

Mercedes met her marvelous Shane, thanks to that and Blaine would be more than happy to have someone to go with him.

That's when he realized he needed help, so he called Sam and Lauren. That was one of the picks of their marriage: he phoned one and got the two of them.

Oddly, telling Sam that he was right wasn't hard.

Yes, he had a boyfriend.

The problem was that the said boyfriend wouldn't acknowledge himself as such; he couldn't even imagine it as a possibility.

He related everything he did to help Kurt to understand that whatever he was feeling for Noah, Noah was feeling it, too, and how it didn't receive any response from Kurt.

Sam's answer was quick “You can't act like that, Noah! You have to be upfront with him. Put yourself in his shoes: he just told you what he is feeling, by your action it appears that you are making fun of him or worse that you don't give a fuck about his feelings. He must be hurt. Be straight with him!”

It was so obvious that Noah couldn't believe he hadn’t thought of it himself.

Then he laughed, remembering something Kurt had told him a few months ago. “Isn't it ironic? I have to be straight to tell him I am gay for him!”

Then Lauren came to talk and together they sketched out a plan of attack.

 

PKPKPK

Noah was acting oddly, Kurt thought.

After behaving like a friend – though a distracted one – Noah had gone back to his old way of acting but with a slight difference since he knew how Kurt felt now.

Despite his better judgment, he came to think a few times that if Noah touched him that often it was because he liked touching him the same way he himself liked feeling Noah around him. But it was a useless hope.

The mother of his two kids, she was like a star: still shining in his life long after her death. That memory helped Kurt to come back to reality.

This thought led him where he was now. Indeed, he talked once more about speed dating with Blaine and he made a decision. They would give him one last chance for meeting nice men the normal way and if nothing good happened to any of them before the following week, they would register for the next speed dating thing.

On Monday, they went to a club in Soho. It was nice, but Blaine's information was wrong and it was a drag queen night which wasn't their thing.

On Wednesday, they enjoyed a Karaoke night with Mercedes and Shane, Rachel and Finn. It was nice but the gay men rate was pretty low. He began to think it was Blaine's purpose: only going to places where they wouldn't meet any interesting guys, so he had to go with him to the speed dating.

But Saturday was different. The place was nice, lots of nice-looking men, good music. It looked like paradise in contrast to the other nights.

One hour after their arrival, Blaine was sitting at a table and talking to a dark-haired man with black glasses who looked like he loved bow ties as much as him. From Blaine's behavior, it looked like he really liked the guy and even better it looked mutual.

Smiling, Kurt went back onto the dance floor.

First he danced with a nice fellow with a strong Irish accent; then he had fun with a dark-skinned guy with nice muscles who reminded him of Noah. The music suddenly swapped to a slow song, the man moved forward ready to press their bodies together, but instead he frowned and froze before touching him. Kurt was about to turn around to look at what caused this reaction, when arms wrapped around his waist from behind and held him tight.

He knew those arms, he knew that body.

What was he doing here? Kurt closed his eyes, thinking that it was probably a dream, a hopeful dream.

Lips and breath brushed his neck and he was sure.

Their bodies swung to the music more and less in rhythms and he just made the most of it, without thinking too much. One song was a short time and when the last note rang out he tried to turn around but the arms stopped him. So they kept on swaying, following a song that only they knew but this time Kurt's brain was running high…

Why was he here?

What did it mean?

What were they doing on that dance floor?

Why was he here?

This time, when the song ended, he didn't let himself be stopped. He turned around to face him and looked him right in the eyes, searching for answers.

Noah's face – because it really was him – looked relaxed and kind of pleased with himself but Kurt saw some worry in his eyes.

His warm brown eyes stared at him, before glancing at his mouth. Kurt’s mouth went dry and he felt the need to wet his lips. As his tongue slid over them, the atmosphere changed. Noah's arms tightened so suddenly around him that Kurt needed to put his hands on the other man's chest to keep his balance.

His heart beating wildly, Kurt saw Noah lean into him as he talked in his ear, “We need to talk.”

Since it was true, Kurt nodded and headed toward the tables but Noah's hand stopped him. “Not there. Meet me outside.”

The man didn't wait for him to answer before disappearing into the crowd.

 

PKPKPK

He couldn't believe he did it.

Any of it.

Following Kurt when he left his flat and coming into that club had been the easy part; now came the hard one: talking to Kurt. At first, he liked watching Kurt having fun but when he heard the slow song coming and saw that guy trying to get Kurt in his arms it had been like a huge kick in the ass.

Kurt was his, Durmstrang!

He wasn't the sharing type and he certainly didn't want to skip his turn once more, so he acted by instinct.

Like a man on a mission – which he was – he sidled into the dancing crowd and wrapped his arms around the slender man who owned his heart as if it was his place. It felt good, so good to finally have him against him. And now he was waiting outside for Kurt to join him, feeling restless and scared. He was about to take a huge step in his life. It was as if he was on a cliff top, and he could only hope Kurt would be there to catch him.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 'Courage, Noah, courage!'

“Hey...” Kurt's voice surprised him, he hadn't heard him coming. Noah looked at him and he felt his stomach getting warm. He would be unable to voice it but Kurt was really sexy right now, so he just smiled and waited.

It was only when Kurt asked, “So, where do you wanna go?” that he remembered that he was the one who wanted to talk, the one who wanted to go somewhere else, consequently he was the one who had to act, so he did.

“Do you mind if we just walk around?” Noah asked unusually shy, his heart full of hope because he really needed to move for this talk. Kurt agreed and soon they were on the move. That was when he realized he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say.

Lost in his thoughts, he was once more surprised by Kurt's voice.

“Noah?”

He turned his head in Kurt's direction and blurted, “You're wrong, you know?”

Kurt froze and looked at him puzzled. “Okay, can you be a bit more precise? I hate to tell you this but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”

“Oh, that's right. You said it wasn't the same for you that it was for me. That's where you are wrong. Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you are at home with us?”

Kurt slowly shook his head and Noah carried on. “Well, I do. You know since Quinn died, life hasn't always been easy. And even when she was there it wasn’t smooth as it is with you. To tell you the truth, I have never felt as peaceful, as happy as when you are near me, even when I was a kid.”

He took a break to breathe and let Kurt take part if he wanted to, but from the look on his face, he was too shocked to do it so he kept talking.

“Beth is right. You are part of our family; whether you wanted it or not. Neither one of us understands why you want to build another family when we are here and waiting for you to be complete.”

This time he didn't give Kurt the time to answer, he had to say everything before being stopped.

“And if I hold you at the park, it's because I like it, not because I have to; the same went for the kisses, the hugs, the touching; they are not just for show.”

“You like it?” Kurt's voice was thin, lighter than a whisper, but Noah heard it, nodded and he reached to join their hands. The movement was a slow motion, he didn't want to rush Kurt and when their fingers finally entwined, he relaxed.

They stayed like this for a while, staring stupidly at their joined hands before restarting their walk. Noah enjoyed it until the need to talk was back, he wasn't finished yet.

“Do you...” He didn't know how to express his request.

“Do I... what?” Kurt asked rubbing his thumb over the back of Noah's hand.

“Do you want to be part of our family? Do you want us to be boyfriends outside of the park?”

 

PKPKPK

Noah was holding his hand, telling him things that he never thought possible…

If he wasn't so afraid of being ridiculous, he would pinch himself. Just to be sure it wasn't a dream.

No, it couldn't be a dream. He felt Noah's hand in his hand, the warm breeze on his face, he heard people laughing and the street lamp shining; this was reality so he assented

“Yes, if you...”but Noah cut him off before he could finish: “I am sure!”

They kept walking, enjoying the night, talking sometimes but mostly just happy to be together. Then, they headed home where they each went to their own flat after a long hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. It seemed like they both wanted to take this slow.

 

Epilogue

  
Beth was walking quickly on the side-walk. She was going home from school and Kurt should be waiting for her. The waiting part wasn't new, but that he was waiting in their home was.

She didn't know how her dad had done it but he’d managed to convince Kurt that he was supposed to be theirs, and that was just perfect. No, that was kind of a lie, she had an idea of how he did it.

She smiled and thought about the first time she’d caught them kissing. It wasn't a Kurt and the Puckermans night but when she went to see her dad because she wasn't feeling well she saw them.

They were lying down the couch, watching some T.V, or to be more precise the TV was watching them and they were kissing each other. At first she had been so surprised that she didn't know what to do; but then she threw up.  
In a second they were up and ready to take care of her as if everything was normal.

And now, she understood why: because it was. It had felt good to have his dad helping her to get clean as Kurt was making something for her to drink, looking for something for her to change into or cleaning the floor.

It felt good to have the two of them taking care of her like that, so good that she didn't ask any questions about Kurt's presence or what they were doing on the couch.

And a few months later, her dad came to Jamie and her to ask how they would feel if Kurt was there more often. Jamie didn't really understand what their dad was talking about, but she did.

She thought about it.

What would it be like to have two parents? She didn't remember much about the time when her mom was still there, but she had gone over to Eliza’s sometimes. She saw her mom and dad talking, joking and kissing.

What would it be like to have Kurt with them that way? Would it be strange? Then she thought back to the night she had been sick, how good it was to have them both with her and she knew the answer.

She arrived home at last, so she opened the door and sang, “Kurtie, I’m home!”

He hated when she called him that, but because it was funny to see him grumble, she did it sometimes. To avenge himself, he would tickle her and she loved it. But today, although she heard a sound in the apartment, Kurt didn't answer. She shrugged it off and headed to her room to put away her things.

  
PKPKPK

  
Kurt was motionless in his studio, waiting to see if Beth would knock at the door. When they moved into their new home, he asked the kids not to come in if the door was closed, and apparently she remembered it.

He looked at the man asleep beside him and smiled. Now he might have to explain it to Noah, too. Kurt looked at the time and then he cuddled up with the man he loved. They still had some time before Noah needed to sneak out to go to Jamie's school. They should make the most of it! So he kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

Coming home was now a funny thing that he has easily gotten used to.

The first time he did it, after they all moved into the new apartment, he came so early that he surprised Kurt and they managed to have some fun in the studio. It had been a new experience, quite acrobatic and such a good memory.

Since that day, he went home every day wondering what kind of atmosphere he was going to.

Sometimes it was calm.

Beth was silently doing her homework while Kurt was drawing some outfits or sewing with some classical music playing in the background.

Noah had never been a huge fan of classical music but with Kurt he came to appreciate the calm that it brought.

And the best thing about classical was that Jamie liked it and could stay calm for a long time just enjoying the piano or the violin.

The little boy loved it so much that Kurt and he were even thinking about getting him some lessons.

Other times, when Beth and Kurt had finished their work for the day, Jamie and he would come home to a musical house. The two acolytes would be watching and singing to one of Kurt's movies that Beth came to love too.

Tonight it would be the first time Jamie would be there and Noah wondered what it would change.

As soon as he opened the door he smiled: Rock and roll! That was more his thing.

He took off his coat without being noticed and went to change and clean himself before heading to the kitchen from where the music was coming.

He pushed the door and froze.

Lenny Kravitz was singing about "American Woman", on the table pizza dough was waiting to be filled up, Jamie and Beth were playing air guitar and Kurt was singing with a wooden spoon by way of mike. There was flour everywhere and the threesome looked like they were running wild.

Noah's smile grew wider as he watched a Kurt who was not well put together; it was a sight that was just for them.

He waited for the song to finish before clapping his hands.

They froze one second before looking at each other and bursting into laughter.

Soon the kids were running to kiss him; Kurt went to turn the volume down as the Beatles began to sing about holding hands.

When the children freed him, he looked at Kurt and sang, "Oh please, say to me you'll let me be your man... Oh please, say to me you'll let me hold your hand!" Without stopping his song, he held out his hand to Kurt.

When his lover took it, Noah pulled him against him and soon they were slowly dancing to the music and singing to each other.

Feeling like the atmosphere's rating was higher than it should with Beth and Jamie in the room, he pecked at Kurt's nose and made him spin around like ballroom dancers did.

He heard laughter around him before Jamie yelled, "Do me too, Daddy! Do me too!" and just like that, the partners shifted because that was how the evening went for the new Hummel-Puckerman household.


End file.
